teen media issues

Listen. And Learn

Parents of adolescents, how many of you enjoy your children’s favorite music – if you can even understand it?  I realize there are families in which parents and children enjoy the same musical tastes.  However, for many, the choice of music preference can become not only a difference between generations, but even a focal point of major misunderstanding and conflict.  I would urge you, as parents, to give serious consideration to what I am sharing today.  With the right approach, you can take the huge barrier of your teen’s musical identity and turn it into an open doorway into the deep struggles, hopes, fears, beliefs, and desires lying in the heart and mind of your son or daughter.

Music has always been important to people.  It has the power to touch and stir our spirits in a unique and powerful way, giving voice to our inner thoughts and shaping our identities in the process.  In modern America, each generation had their music that defined them and expressed their inner selves outwardly for all to hear – much of it commonly shared by the majority of one’s generational peers.  However, in postmodern adolescent America, music has become a much more personal expression – with scores of styles, genres, and subgenres available for download.  And let’s face it, much of today’s music (but certainly not all!) is distasteful, offensive, or outright disturbing to the parent who can pick out enough words to hear the themes.  So, what do you do when confronted with shocking album covers, myspace pages, cds, and downloads?

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By Roger Butner, ago

Blessings

Following is my second attempt to post this article.  God, in His great sense of humor, allowed something in cyberspace to swallow my first article.  Given the nature of today’s writing, it was a pretty good test.  I’d like to say I passed with flying colors, and kept my mind focused on blessings.  However, the reality is I was fuming when I realized my work was ruined.  Where would I be without grace?!  As I write these words again, I realize how important they are for me to practice, and practice, and practice.

I’d like to share with you the words of a favorite song and a favorite scripture.  The song has impacted me my entire life, from my early childhood worshiping with the Pleasant Valley Church of Christ in Little Rock until today.  The scripture has become particularly meaningful to me since I began professionally helping people with their problems.  If you will allow them, these words have the power to radically change your life – that is, if you are interested in a life full of peace, joy, and contentment:

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?  Does the cross seem heavy you were called to bear?  Count your many blessings, ev’ry doubt will fly, and you will be singing as the days go by.

So, amid the conflict, whether great or small, do not be discouraged, God is over all; Count your many blessings, angels will attend, help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count your blessings, name them one by one; Count your blessings, see what God hath done; Count your blessings, name them one by one; Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.”

As you consider the words of that great hymn of inspiration, consider the inspiring words of the greatest evangelist of all time, written from prison while awaiting trial for a death sentence: (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Unavailable

I’m going to speak very personally here, rather than try to lump you in with me.  Busy signals drive me nuts.  Ever hear of call waiting?!  Even worse is that person living in the stone age that doesn’t have an answering machine.  The phone just rings and rings.  Aren’t they afraid they will miss a call?  Don’t even get me started on automated message systems and phone trees at businesses.  And what about those folks afraid to get email?  We’re in the 21st century.  Get connected, already!   With all of our wireless, integrated, cellular, satelite, online, hi-def, digital, interactive telecommunications technology, how could anyone be unavailable whenever I need to get in touch with them?!?…

…Well, maybe it’s because they are more concerned with taking better care of themselves than in satisfying my urge for immediate attention.  Maybe they are taking care of someone or something more important than my present demands.  Maybe they aren’t doing anything…and that’s exactly what they need to be doing at the moment.

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By Roger Butner, ago

A “Storiented” Family Activity

Apparently I coined a new term a few nights ago through a slip of the tongue.  After making some comments in my Bible study group, a couple of people immediately spoke up, saying they like my use of the term “storiented” in reference to our postmodern culture.  I didn’t really mean to say it – I guess I just ran “story” and “oriented” together a little, so it sounded like one word.  We moved on with our discussion of the Gospel of Mark, and I told them I wasn’t trying to sound clever.

I’ve thought about it several times since then and realized…we do live in a storiented culture.  Stories are very important to us.  They evoke deep emotion in our hearts.  A good story can prompt us to: laugh, cry, shout, believe, remember, imagine, hope, sympathize, blame, forgive, and so much more.  Stories open up other worlds of adventure and romance and possibility.  Wrongs are righted.  True love prevails.  Goodhearted heros triumph over sinister villains.  Problems are solved.  And relationships are restored.

Many of our entertainment choices are very storiented in nature.  We keep up with our favorite prime-time dramas or “reality” shows on TV.  We enter the story world of a good movie in a dark theater or the privacy of our own surround-sound entertainment room.  We lose ourselves in the unfolding narrative of a novel, biography, or other book.  Even music, videogames, and web surfing can be about connecting with a story larger than ourselves.  We love great stories, and we love to feel that we are, in some way, a part of them.

If approached properly, stories can inspire us to live better lives and build better relationships. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

TV Turnoff Week – Reflections

My family participated in National TV Turnoff Week for the first time this year.  My PhD is in family studies and mass communication, and I wrote my dissertation on the relationship between family strength and family TV-viewing style.  Put simply – I’ve got a lot to say about families and television (most of which my friends don’t really like to hear)!  So what else could I possibly learn about families and television, simply by participating in this weeklong event?!?

…At two years old, my son is already an addict.  And worse yet, my wife and I are his dealers. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago