HopeForYourFamily

Ever get into a funky place where you seem restless, irritable, and discontent?

Well, I do.  Sometimes for long stretches, I am sad to say.  And I have found that when I get into one of these grouchy seasons, there is one question that lurks at the heart of the murkiness.  It is a terrible question.  A question that drives me, when I let it.  “What is the Matrix?”  No, that’s not it!  Here it is…

“What do I FEEL LIKE DOING right now?”

Sooner or later, living by this question day after day drives me into the ditch.  It is a lame question for any of us to follow, particularly someone with an “addictive personality” like me.  But we all have a sin nature that calls out in various fleshly ways, convincing us that this question is actually a very reasonable approach to life.

It is not.

Far better to guide my actions from day to day with questions such as these…

“What would be good for me to do now?”

“What is God’s will for me today (as best I can tell)?”

“How can I bless someone else?”

And the irony of it is this: When I pursue those things that I feel like doing, I am rarely, if ever contented by them.  But when I am willing to pursue those things that God would have me do to bless others, I find within my self a growing sense of contentment and joy that I am simply not capable of contriving on my own.

Have a great day – bless someone else by doing God’s will!

Tags: addiction, character, compasses, discipline, freedom, HOPE, leadership, marriage / relationships, spiritual formation, the journey

This was my most physically fit point of last year.  I don’t have an updated Wii Fit screen shot to show you today, but it is in the neighborhood of 240 (Don’t even start me on what happens to my Mii when I get on the balance board!).  Here is a brief account and analysis of what happened with my physical fitness last year…

I decided some time in late December that it was time to surrender my appetite fully to God.  I knew this would be the most important foundation to any approach I took to improving my physical fitness.  I still believe this to be true.  In December/January, I began a two part (“Eat Less, Move More”) process to weight loss that burned off nearly 40 lbs in 4 months.  I began eating homemade fruit smoothies as meal and snack replacements, and I began working out for an hour a day (sometimes twice a day) on our elliptical machine at home.  I’m sure there were some other nuances, but that is the core of what I did.  It worked, but it was too extreme to be sustainable for me.  And so it didn’t stick.

Three things happened at the same time that interrupted my rhythm, and because my rhythm was so hard core, I have never regained it.  1. I got a plantar wart.  Very painful.  Not fun.  Incredibly disruptive to my workout rhythm.  2. I started P90-X, thinking I would have a workout partner, but without being sure our schedules would really line up.  Given my personality, the elliptical machine makes for a great solitary workout.  P90-X makes for a great workout buddy exercise.  This further interrupted my flow.  3. I did the “Plyometrics” workout on P90-X and gave it everything I had.  I could barely walk for the next three days.  Literally.  I was in agony.  The culmination of these three dynamics was more than my workout rhythm could overcome.

I have found that exercising regularly and eating a healthier diet go hand in hand.  They just do.  At least for me.  If I do one in earnest, I am likely to do the other.  And reap the physical (emotional, relational, and spiritual) benefits.  If I let one go, I am likely to stop doing the other.  And reap the physical (emotional, relational, and spiritual) consequences.  Given all of this, here is my plan for the foreseeable future…

• Do a moderate workout (20-40) minutes three times a week.
• Drink more water, and less soft drinks.
• Eat more vegetables, and less salty stuff (the latter category covers a host of dietary nightmares)
• Have a smoothie when I’m really hankering for a snack.
• Have some fruit when I’m really hankering for dessert.

Rather than aiming to lose X number of pounds in the next few months, I am aiming for being under 200 pounds in three years and five years and ten years.  I am going for moderate, consistent, and sustainable.  Here goes…

p.s. – I will also probably have smoothies sometimes for breakfast and/or lunch, but not as a rigid rule.  Also, if you are wondering how I make my smoothies, here goes.  I have a smoothie blender that makes basically one large (XL maybe?) smoothie.  Don’t remember the name.  Don’t know the volume.  Oh well.  I put a fresh banana in first, then top that with Dole frozen mixed fruit until it is almost to the top.  I usually sprinkle in some ground flax seed.  Then I fill it up with unsweetened almond milk and sweetened coconut milk.  Blend that sucker up and I’m good to geaux!

Tags: discipline, fitness, HOPE, marriage / relationships, the journey

It’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day.  I am reflecting.  Never been a big “New Year’s Resolution” type of guy, and I won’t go into all that here.  But I am thinking about how the quality of my life could improve in the coming year.  For what it’s worth to you, these are my observations, thoughts, and hopes.  Do with it what you will.  I may turn it into several forthcoming blog posts.  But I’m not about to promise that.  Okay, here goes…

1. I remember feeling physically better than I ever had in my entire life back in the early spring of 2011.  I was eating healthy and working out regularly.  That all started with a decision to surrender my appetites daily to God.  It’s time to yield to the true leadership of the LORD again.
2. Life will be better on multiple fronts if I will read more and iPhone less.
3. Life will be better on multiple fronts if I will blog more and Facebook less.
4. My family has been sharing nightly (well, more often than not) devotionals together during this Christmas season.  It has been very good.  I need to find a nightly family devotional guide TODAY that we can begin to use, now that we are through the Christmas lessons.  This is a wonderful momentum, and I can see the obvious benefits of me taking the primary lead in this movement at our house.
5. I need to practice at home what I preach in my office as a husband.  Grace, mercy, and compassion have been in short supply on my end for a while.  By God’s grace, that is changing.  It’s about time!
6. I am eager to stay in more regular conversation with my spiritual mentor.  Daily would be good – but I’m staying away from “resolutiony” goals here.
7. I want to grow in grace.  I think that is “my word” for this coming year.  I want to experience it more fully by embracing the gift that God so freely and eagerly offers me daily.  I want to share it more by walking more purposefully and willingly with my amazing Savior.  I want to be a grace person.
8. God is clearly calling me to be more missional.  To be more intentional about sharing the Good News of Jesus with those around me.  Especially with my friends who are reaching out for God.
9. Slow down more.  Enjoy the present moment and the wonder of God.
10. Get going more readily.  When it’s time to do something I don’t really feel like doing, quit thinking about it and get with it.
11. Be a more consistent friend.
12. Respond to emails and phone messages more promptly.

Okay, 12 seems like a good number.  I’ll stop there.  But here’s the deal.  I’m not beating my self up about the growth I still see a need for in my life.  Gracious!  Who do I know that isn’t still in need of growth?!  I am grateful for my life today.  I am grateful to be the man I am today.  Just as I am.  Aiming high.  Falling short.  Aiming low.  Rising above.  Succeeding.  Failing.  Enjoying.  Whining.  Leading.  Punking.  Worshiping.  Slacking.  And doing it all in the grace of God.  Bring on 2012 – so long as I get to face every day in God’s grace.

Tags: HOPE, spiritual formation, the journey

I know, another video link, rather than original blog material – lame.  Oh well, it’s where I am, and today God reminded me in His wonderful, powerful, wild, calming way how true is the Message of this song.  May you be blessed with the peace of embracing His presence in your life today.

Tags: freedom, HOPE, spiritual formation, the journey

Sorry about the “S-word” in that video, but he just nailed this issue, so I’m sharing it.  This will be short and sweet…

I am “on” my iPhone too much.  Facebooking mostly.  But also texting, taking silly pictures, and just looking for stuff.  This needs to change.  I am missing out on life.  I am missing out on my wife.  This is ridiculous!  So, here’s the plan, at least as a starting point.

After 9pm, the iPhone goes to the charger and stays outta my hands.  And the one I’m really wrestling with is this one – Don’t get on Facebook unless I have taken the time to either write a meaningful blog post for the day or read something meaningful from a book for at least half an hour.  I don’t want to get legalistic about it.  Believe me – I know what an epic fail that path is for actually solving any kind of heart issues.  Been there, done that.  But I need structure, and this thing needs turning around.  My wife tells me I share too much on Facebook.  True.  Maybe this post is too much.  But I’m thinking some of you can relate and could use an encouragement and a helpful idea.  And you may start finding some helpful stuff on my website again soon.  : ]

#NeedFreedom

Tags: addiction, blogging, books, character, discipline, facebook, freedom, HOPE, marriage / relationships, media, social networking, spiritual formation, texting, the journey, twitter

Watch this video…

Now watch this video…

I dare you to watch the first one again now.

Maybe you’re not an LSU fan, so it’s easy to dismiss.  And perhaps you genuinely don’t care about football.  This pair of videos kicked me in the teeth.  More importantly and to the point, my heart is convicted.  Thanks to my friend, Joey, for sharing these with me.  Pray for me, as I pray for you to be set free of the idols in our lives.  As far as I know, I will still be watching the big game on November 5 and cheering for the LSU Tigers.  Nothing wrong with that.  But I want to be totally willing to do something else with my time if the Holy Spirit calls me elsewhere.  And I don’t need to be worshiping LSU or Coach Miles or the defense or the offense or the “Honey Badger” or any of that as I watch the game.  As Joey so eloquently and succinctly put it – “GEAUX JESUS!”  Thanks again, Joe!

Tags: addiction, community, culture, freedom, HOPE, manhood, media, spiritual formation, the journey

I have always loved this classic song by the Byrds, inspired by Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about stress, demands, busyness, self-discipline, entertainment, enjoyment of life and family and work and play, and the intersection of these things.  (Yes, there are always lots of wheels turning inside my noggin.  It’s like a funhouse in here – trust me!)  Today I find myself especially considering the role of electronic gadgetry in the midst of this swirling mix.  I got an i-Phone a couple months or so ago, primarily because there is an app for my online scheduling system, and I hoped it would improve my business efficiency.  Well, it has certainly done that.  My scheduling process has never been smoother for me or my clients!  In addition, I have found this little gizmo to be an immensely helpful tool in many ways – from helping me navigate trips to boosting my enjoyment of amateur photography to assisting me in organizing my overall schedule to providing a handy-dandy light to navigate the toy-infested waters of my son’s room for a late night kiss on his cheek before going to bed.  But the impact on my life doesn’t stop there.  Consider also…

Words With Friends and the Facebook app and just how easy it is now to text like a maniac.  With such powerful distractions just a slide and a tap, tap, tap away, it is easy for my attention, my mind, my spirit, and my life to get seriously out of balance.  Not good.  And I’m a 37 year old man with the Holy Spirit, years of walking with Christ and attempting to live in surrender to the Father’s will, and even a doctorate in studying the role of mass media in family life all to assist me in making wise choices.  Imagine the impact on the fourteen year olds!

And this is not to mention the place of the Wii, XBox, Playstation, laptop computer, internet itself, i-Pad, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, etc.  And I shudder to consider this new technology with its unprecedented implications.

My point is this.  As parents – as adults – we need to live in view of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  You know, while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and live in view of all of chapter 3, and might as well throw in Romans 12 for good measure!  All very difficult to do when I am giving my best to an electronic idol.  Ouch, did I really just post that on my website?!!  Our kids need us to be sober-minded, well-balanced guides to show them how to live rightly and humbly before God.  How are we doing?

Tags: addiction, adolescence, character, culture, family, freedom, leadership, media, parenting, personal responsibility, spiritual formation, teens, texting

I was recently asked to contribute a recipe to a cookbook for an organization that encourages step-families to live well.  Now that we have gotten some hints of fall in the air (my prayers continue to go up for the drought to end for the great state of Texas, where this recipe first began its evolution), I thought this would be something appropriate and different to share on the blog…

I have heard Ron Deal’s comment that step-families shouldn’t be
blended, but slow-cooked. In that spirit, here is a recipe I have
developed over the years that is a wonderful celebration of this
concept. Different ingredients cooked low and slow to lend their
unique contributions to one delightful, house-warming creation. I have
found that the longer it sits, the better it gets, provided you don’t
interrupt the process too much by reacting with the impulse to “fix” it
along the way. So true for stepfamilies! Slow and steady is a far better
recipe than quick and reactive. And isn’t that true with so much of life.
I have included options for making it hotter. Experiment to find the
best alarm-level for your family’s taste.

When serving it to large
groups, I typically make a big pot (triple recipe) that I would consider a
good 2-3 alarm chili. I will also make a small pot (half recipe) of a 5+
alarm concoction (heavy on chili peppers, including the almighty
habanero) that will burn a hole through your belly if eaten straight. I
then invite my family and friends to use the bowl of fire as a mix-in to
heat up a big bowl of the standard chili to their liking.
And if you ever join my family at our table for a big bowl of fiesta chili,
don’t be surprised if it seems a bit different than what you’ve been
cooking. I promise I’m not holding out on you – I just never really cook
it the same way twice. ENJOY!!!

Fiesta Chili

*1 – 1 1/2 lb. ground beef or venison (browned)
*2 cans Ranch Style Beans (undrained) or Texas Style (hotter)
*1 can crushed tomatoes (undrained) or 1 can Rotel (hotter)
*1 medium yellow onion (chopped)
* 3 green onions (chopped)
*1 poblano pepper (finely chopped) (can sub a bell pepper if poblano
is unavailable)
* 1 serrano pepper (finely chopped)
* 3 cloves garlic (finely chopped) or 1 tsp. garlic powder
* 3 jalepenos (chopped) (hotter)
* 2 cups beef broth
* 1 Tbs. Tabasco Sauce (hotter)
* 1 Tbs. chili powder
* 1 tsp. paprika
* 1 tsp. cumin
* salt and pepper to taste

Brown the meat – in a cast iron pot, if you have one. As the meat is
almost browned, add all fresh chopped onions and peppers. When
meat, onions, and peppers are cooked (about 3 minutes or so), add all
remaining ingredients. I like to serve this chili over rice, so feel free to
stretch it with another cup or two of broth or water to feed another
person, if needed. Cook on stovetop at medium-low for 1-2 hours (the
longer the better), or in a crock-pot for as long as you can resist the
mouthwatering aroma.  After pouring over rice, and maybe adding some Fritos, top with fresh cilantro leaves to go all the way with your chili fiesta!

With Hope in Him and eagerness for fall weather,

Dr. Butner

Tags: coming soon..., family, parenting, the journey

Tags: character, community, HOPE, the journey

Thanks to my buddy, Hans, for the title of this post.

Men of the Baton Rouge area (and beyond), it’s here.  The kickoff of a new season!  Men are suiting up and showing up for battle to show what they are made of, and to take their game to a higher level this year.  That’s right, gentlemen.  It’s that time of year again.  Time for…

MEN’S FRATERNITY!!!

I wish words on a blog could adequately tell you how profoundly my participation in Men’s Fraternity impacted my life over the past three years.  Men, I’m telling you, Men’s Fraternity will change your life!  For now, I will share with you the words of one our pastors, who was also my excellent small group leader the first year I joined this fellowship:

Tags: coming soon..., compasses, friends, leadership, manhood, spiritual formation