spiritual formation

Friends

Today I was discussing with a client how important REAL FRIENDS are in times of hardship and crisis.  She has one such friend in her life, and we sadly agreed that many people don’t even have one friend with whom they can be truly open.  Let’s face it – alone is Hell.  God said in the very beginning, after making the first man, Adam, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” In the great wisdom book of Ecclesiastes, the author tells us to “pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.” We need friends.  We need people we can trust to accept us and love us when we take off our masks and come out from behind our walls and get Real.  We need friends.

I talk to so many hurting people who feel so alone.  Sometimes their actual problems aren’t as bad as the pain of facing those problems alone.  Alone is Hell.  We need friends.  It is truly astonishing the amount of hope that stirs in a human spirit, simply by having someone enter into one’s most vulnerable space and state clearly (with or without words), “I’m here with you.”  What a gift to be wandering blindly through a terrible storm of life, and to realize a trusted friend has quietly joined you with an umbrella and a light and no words of condemnation!  Or the profound comfort in awaking in a hospital bed to realize the calm presence of the person beside you is not your doctor, but your friend.  Or the friend who loves you enough to sit quietly beside you because no words can heal your hurt, when all others have abandoned you because no words can heal your hurt.  And don’t forget the simple, yet fulfilling joy of talking and laughing and sharing things with a true friend in ways that would lead others to think you strange, while your friend truly enjoys these moments as uniquely you.

Take a minute to consider if you have been blessed to have one or more REAL FRIENDS.  If so, please let them know how much they mean to you.  You may assume they understand without it having to be said.  Say it anyway.  Can you imagine your life without that friend?  I would like to take a few moments to say thanks to my REAL FRIENDS.  As I pause and reflect, I realize God has given me more than most… (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Resolution Revolution

So, are you joining the masses of people who make annual “new year’s resolutions?”  If so, you are likely feeling one of two ways about making these so-called “resolutions.”  You may be feeling really motivated and hopeful, telling yourself and maybe others, “I’m gonna do it!  It’s time I made this change, and I can’t wait!”  Others may be feeling cynical and embarrassed, thinking something to the tune of, “I can’t believe I’m actually even making this new year’s resolution.  Those are always such a joke.  Who am I kidding?!  I’m not really going to change.  I’m just making new year’s resolutions to feel better about myself for a while.”  And, some may be feeling a mixture of both – experiencing hope and doubt at the same time.  However you may be feeling about taking this step of proclaiming new year’s resolutions, I’m offering my two cents to you today in hopes that you will truly make the changes your heart is longing for, and that you will sustain those changes as a lasting new way of life.  If that sounds good, and you really would like to see yourself make these changes, I’ve got some useful guidelines that will help you turn your “resolutions” into a revolution this year… (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Limits

It’s been a while since my last post.  I decided to take a week off from my website for Thanksgiving.  This past weekend, I had a wonderful getaway with my lovely wife at the Parish Hermitage – and writing or working on my website was not remotely on my mind.  However, there is another reason for my online absense that is much less admirable than taking vacation time, and much less exciting than a weekend romantic getaway: my back is killing me.  And this has inspired today’s article.  I share it from my own painful experience.  But because I hope my growth will benefit you in some real way, I’ll share with you a glimpse into my recent journey.

I have had chronic low back problems for about four years.  Each time it flares up it is a direct result of one of two problems: stress or stupidity.  The initial injury was caused by a raging bout with stupidity.  I’ll not share that story at this time – maybe in a future post.  Since that time, most of my flare-ups have been due to stress – which will also make for a good future article.  This time, the stupidity got me. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

What are you reading?

Reading good books is such a great way to learn, grow, and improve your life and relationships!  Whether you prefer biographies, “self-help,” Scripture, literary classics, Christian classics, inspiring novels, histories, Christian fiction, or others, there are so many good books available through the public library, our local bookstores, and numerous websites.  (www.addall.com is my favorite, because it searches for your book on all the top book websites, then lists them in order of total purchase price.)  There is so much wisdom, knowledge, adventure, and inspiration just waiting to improve our lives, if only we will take the time to pick up a good book.

The two primary reasons people tell me they don’t read much are: “I don’t have time,” and “I get bored with reading.”  I think there is one major factor that contributes to both of these “excuses” for most people – (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Rhythm

For centuries, the Ten Commandments have stood as pillars of life for many, many people – Jew and Christian alike.  There is something very fundamental about these guidelines, for anyone desiring to lead a moral life under the guidance of God.  In fact, I frequently use this analogy when it comes to how we can live the best life possible: Let’s say you have just purchased a new electronic appliance – maybe a new multi-disk DVD/CD player.  If you want to get the most out of it – proper functioning, full use of available features, etc – you really should read and follow the instruction manual provided by the manufacturer.  Sure, you could get the thing to turn on and operate if you skip the manual and get right to it.  However, you will most likely miss some key features, and may well run into some frustrating problems.  Reading the manual just makes sense.  Follow the guidelines of the one who created the equipment, and you will get the best possible functioning.  The same is true for our lives.  Our Creator (God) has provided us with an instruction manual (the Bible) to teach us how to get the most out of our lives.  In fact, Jesus repeatedly says he came to give us life to the full, or the abundant life.

“Okay,” you may be saying to yourself, “that’s all fine and good, but what does it have to do with the title of this post – ‘Rhythm’?”  Here is my point.  I’m not writing this post to convince you to read the Bible as your guideline for living, although I wholeheartedly believe we all should do so for the best life possible.  Instead, I want to raise a question and a concern.  For those of us who still hold up the Ten Commandments as basic guidelines for life, why do we completely ignore one of them?!?  (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Surviving the Storms in Life

Our preacher, Eddie White, recently invited me to co-present a portion of the sermon based on Mark 4:35-41, when Jesus miraculously calmed the storm in which he and his disciples were sailing.  He wanted me to offer a real-life application for this Biblical text.  Following is my outline of comments:

1. Expect storms to come through your life. This world is a stormy place.  We don’t help ourselves by hoping storms won’t come our way.  If we expect it, we will prepare for it.  Philip Yancey, in his book, “Rumours of Another World,” notes that in other cultures around the world, they expect suffering and hardship, rather than contentment and peace.  John 16:33 says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

2. Don’t waste a lot of time and energy asking “Why?” So many people throughout the ages have invested so much in searching for answers to why bad things happen. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago