marriage / relationships

A “Storiented” Family Activity

Apparently I coined a new term a few nights ago through a slip of the tongue.  After making some comments in my Bible study group, a couple of people immediately spoke up, saying they like my use of the term “storiented” in reference to our postmodern culture.  I didn’t really mean to say it – I guess I just ran “story” and “oriented” together a little, so it sounded like one word.  We moved on with our discussion of the Gospel of Mark, and I told them I wasn’t trying to sound clever.

I’ve thought about it several times since then and realized…we do live in a storiented culture.  Stories are very important to us.  They evoke deep emotion in our hearts.  A good story can prompt us to: laugh, cry, shout, believe, remember, imagine, hope, sympathize, blame, forgive, and so much more.  Stories open up other worlds of adventure and romance and possibility.  Wrongs are righted.  True love prevails.  Goodhearted heros triumph over sinister villains.  Problems are solved.  And relationships are restored.

Many of our entertainment choices are very storiented in nature.  We keep up with our favorite prime-time dramas or “reality” shows on TV.  We enter the story world of a good movie in a dark theater or the privacy of our own surround-sound entertainment room.  We lose ourselves in the unfolding narrative of a novel, biography, or other book.  Even music, videogames, and web surfing can be about connecting with a story larger than ourselves.  We love great stories, and we love to feel that we are, in some way, a part of them.

If approached properly, stories can inspire us to live better lives and build better relationships. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Reconnecting with Family and Community During Summertime

In my recent interview on “Around Town with Scott Rogers,” I spoke on this topic, but our interview was cut fairly short.  Here is a fuller picture of my thoughts and suggestions on this timely and important issue:

What has contributed to our society’s disconnection?  High mobility.  Families no longer live in one central community for generation after generation.  Extended families, even “nuclear” families, are more scattered and mobile than ever.  Families are also busier than ever.  Between each family member’s schedule, there is often barely time to sit down or go for a walk, just to find out how the other’s activities are going.  It’s a tiring and disconnecting trap, and a trend that seems to be growing.  Similarly, the average work week has grown significantly over the last few decades, despite early speculation that increasing technology would actually shrink the work week!  Another big factor is the massive amount of time Americans spend involved with entertainment media.  The numbers are staggering.  In general, plugging into the screen means unplugging from the people around you.  All of these factors seem to be connected to a shift in our culture away from service and community life toward more affluence and personal enjoyment.

How do we reconnect?  Get out of our entertainment rooms and fenced-in backyards, and get involved in others’ lives. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Whatever happened to chainlink fences?

Last week I was driving down a major thoroughfare in Baton Rouge behind what appeared to be a fairly nice upper-middle class neighborhood.  Something caught my eye that made me profoundly sad as I considered the implications behind it.  Three backyards in a row contained very nice red cedar playground sets.  Three families living next door to one another had spent thousands of dollars buying the very best professional level equipment for their children’s backyard adventures.

Now, I don’t have any problem with families spending money on nice swingsets.  What struck me was the thought that I never would have seen this when I was growing up – three houses right next to one another, all with virtually identical major-league playground gear.  I’m not reaching back to some long ago era, either.  I’m talking about growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, when yards were separated by chainlink, if there was a fence at all.

The good ole chainlink fence served to keep the dogs in the right yards, and let you know where to stop cutting the grass, but they didn’t keep neighbors away from each other. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago