Simple Ways to Connect with Your Teen: Share a Low-Key Outdoor Activity
(Intro: As I’m working on the process of revamping my website, I’m beginning a new blog series: Simple Ways to Connect with Your Teen. Some, and likely – many, of the suggestions in this series will be just as doable and helpful with younger kids. But my driving focus of the series will be connecting with our teens, as that is such a huge focus of my practice of counseling.)
SHARE A LOW-KEY OUTDOOR ACTIVITY TOGETHER! Let me break down for you what I mean by this and what benefits it offers to your teen and your relationship with your teen.
Low-Key: What I’m getting at with this is finding an activity that has little or no pressure on performance, unless you BOTH want performance, competition, improvement, etc to be part of the shared experience. And I’m also suggesting an activity that lends itself to taking your time and enjoying real conversation without much pressure to keep up a particular pace or focus too much on the activity itself. For my now-19 year old son and me, disc golf checks this box nicely. Neither of us are very skilled at disc golf, nor do we expect to become better than decent at the sport. And we don’t get in a rush, allowing plenty of cutting up with each other and sharing stories about life. If someone behind us seems to want to pick up their pace, we’re delighted to let them “play through” and pass us. There was a time, my lad was probably still a pre-teen then, when I would too often focus more on the performance of the activity than on his heart and on the rich blessings of just enjoying a great time together. It wasn’t as much fun for him back then, and it didn’t bring us together like it does now. These days, we both look forward to our next disc-golf outing together. Sure, we’d both like to improve our game some, but we mostly just love being together and being real with each other. It delights us both, and I think we are both learning about each other and our selves in the process.
Outdoor Activity: If you have never read the book, “Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder” by Richard Louv, I would highly recommend you get a copy and read it right away. The great majority of our kids today are growing up with WAY MORE “screen time” and WAY LESS “green time” than what those of us who grew up in the 1980s and before. Put simply, getting outside in green spaces is generally very good for us. There are numerous documented physical, mental, and emotional benefits to simply being out in “nature,” as well getting moving in some active way – even if it isn’t to the level of obvious exercise. I would also argue there is great potential for many social and spiritual benefits for participating in activity with someone else in “the great outdoors.” Sharing a simple outdoor activity with our teens or younger kids enlarges their range of skills. It may help them see that, while they are the master of all things digital/electronic (or so they may think), you can teach them a seriously fun thing or two that they just can’t do inside the little electronic entertainment room at home.
Disc golf may not be the thing for you and your teen. Find your thing, or several options, TOGETHER! Maybe it’s leisurely hiking on nature trails or playing pickleball or flying kites or birding or garage sale shopping or kayaking or photography or golfing or riding horses or picking up trash or tending a garden or fishing or hanging out at a shopping center built around walking and green space (like Baton Rouge’s Perkins Rowe) or whatever. And if your first try at something doesn’t turn out to be a winner – no prob. Just keep trying until you find something that works for both of you.
Well, one of the themes of this series is “simple,” so I think that’s enough on this activity. Hope you have a delightful time connecting with your teen this week while sharing a low-key outdoor activity together!
