Change Happens

Come mothers and fathers

Throughout the land

And don’t criticize

What you can’t understand

Your sons and your daughters

Are beyond your command

Your old road is rapidly agin’

Please get out of the new one

If you can’t lend your hand

For the times they are a-changin’

– Bob Dylan

Whether we like it or not…whether we are ready or not…whether we embrace it or resist it…

Change happens!

As I write this post, my 18 year old son is gearing up with his 18 year old buddy to drive to New Orleans to see my son’s all-time favorite musician, Elton John, in his Farewell, Yellow Brick Road Tour concert. As hard as it is for me to imagine, I’ll bet he’s even more excited than I was when my fellow 20 year old college buddies and I loaded up to drive six hours each direction from our school in North-Central Arkansas to catch Pink Floyd in concert in Dallas, TX and make it back in time to take exams the next day. I say he’s even more excited because this is Sir Elton John – his absolute FAVE – on his farewell tour to say thanks and bon voyage to his fans after decades of phenomenal music and shows. WOW!

So excited for The Lad. But talk about CHANGE!!! Our lad is going to a (likely wild) concert in New Orleans with no parents or other adults besides his 18 year old buddy. YOWSA!!! As parents, my wife and I are doing our best to keep growing and changing with him, in our relationships, our expectations, our conversations, and our limits. And I think we’ve been doing a pretty good job.

This week, I found out the online client scheduling system I’ve been using for years is rolling into a different system with very little time to adjust. I felt as if someone had come up behind me, snatched my iPhone Xr (this is like my fourth or fifth iPhone) from my hands, gave me a new Galaxy, and told me to enjoy my new and improved phone experience. I mean, I hear lots of people are thrilled with that switch, but could you let me decide that for myself?!? I’m doing my best to accommodate this very important professional system change as proactively, positively, and efficiently as I can. But it’s not easy.

Because change is hard.
And change hits us at home and at work and at the doctor’s office and at the restaurant and at the bank and at our spiritual core. And when it comes and finds us, rather than us inviting it in, we feel like fighting it or ignoring it or shutting it down.
But healthy living is a series of rhythms AND changes.
Structure is good.
Change is good.
And change is best when we face it proactively, positively, and with as much faith, open-mindedness, and courage as we can muster – keeping in mind our most important values, desires, and goals.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (the changes I did not ask for), courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

If you need help facing and making forward changes in your marriage or with your kids or with life in general or with your mental health or with that addiction you’ve been pretending isn’t a big deal or with anything else that needs changing but is intimidating or puzzling you, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I’d be delighted to help with counseling or book recommendations or websites or technique suggestions or however I can help. Because the times, they ARE a-changin’! Dylan’s insight is as true today as it was when he first sang that classic and prophetic song. And I don’t know about you, but the Beatles had some good insight into this process as well: I get by with a little help from my friends. How about you?