Advocates – not Adversaries

Some of you have healthy, vibrant, joy-filled marriages that are a great source of security and love in your life.  It’s not perfect, but it sure is good!  If so, please consider finding another couple or two to mentor.  Believe me, some couple out there could really use your encouraging example.  Others reading this post are not so content.  Your marriage has sadly become a source of discouragement and pain, and you aren’t sure what to do, or even how you got here.  If you find yourself in this group, or even just need a boost to a good marriage – read on (then pass it on to someone else).

Most of us did a great job being a loving, supportive, encourager to our spouse back in the days of dating, courtship, and engagement.  Everything was so fresh and new, and your sweetheart just seemed so perfect and easy to serve wholeheartedly.  You felt compelled to do kind, loving, encouraging things for this wonderful person who could make you feel good with simply a word or a smile.  Then you got married, saw the real-life unedited version of one another, disappointed each other and hurt each other a few times, and suddenly it wasn’t so easy to focus on blessing them.  You started putting more and more energy into protecting and defending yourself.  Before you knew what happened, you had become an adversary of your imperfect spouse, rather than an advocate of your beloved sweetheart.  Following is a very simple explanation of what leads to being either an adversary or an advocate to your mate: (more…)

A Year

Today marks one year since Hurricane Katrina made her fateful landfall on the eroded shores of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama.  The fallout of this incredible natural disaster has brought out both the worst and the best of the American people.  We have witnessed looting, violence, chaos, racism, political posturing, and shameless blaming.  However, we have seen selfless heroism, unprecedented generosity, racial reconciliation, powerful community spirit, genuine love, and undying hope and determinism.  Imagine how great the next year of rebuilding will be if we all commit ourselves to being part of the solution!

“But I’m in no position to make a difference,” you may say to yourself.  I beg to differ!  Even a year later, in our various roles of life, we can all make a tremendous difference. (more…)

A “Storiented” Family Activity

Apparently I coined a new term a few nights ago through a slip of the tongue.  After making some comments in my Bible study group, a couple of people immediately spoke up, saying they like my use of the term “storiented” in reference to our postmodern culture.  I didn’t really mean to say it – I guess I just ran “story” and “oriented” together a little, so it sounded like one word.  We moved on with our discussion of the Gospel of Mark, and I told them I wasn’t trying to sound clever.

I’ve thought about it several times since then and realized…we do live in a storiented culture.  Stories are very important to us.  They evoke deep emotion in our hearts.  A good story can prompt us to: laugh, cry, shout, believe, remember, imagine, hope, sympathize, blame, forgive, and so much more.  Stories open up other worlds of adventure and romance and possibility.  Wrongs are righted.  True love prevails.  Goodhearted heros triumph over sinister villains.  Problems are solved.  And relationships are restored.

Many of our entertainment choices are very storiented in nature.  We keep up with our favorite prime-time dramas or “reality” shows on TV.  We enter the story world of a good movie in a dark theater or the privacy of our own surround-sound entertainment room.  We lose ourselves in the unfolding narrative of a novel, biography, or other book.  Even music, videogames, and web surfing can be about connecting with a story larger than ourselves.  We love great stories, and we love to feel that we are, in some way, a part of them.

If approached properly, stories can inspire us to live better lives and build better relationships. (more…)