inspiration

Plastic & Beer

I write this post on St. Patrick’s Day, after having spent the morning with my family at my first ever parade in Baton Rouge.  While I had never really heard much about the St. Patty’s Day parade, I’ve heard about the legendary Mardi Gras parades of South Louisiana for years.  From what I could tell, this was pretty much the same thing – but with cheaper floats and the crowd looking like they just stepped out of the Emerald City.  As I stood there on Perkins Road with my family, taking it all in, I tried to figure out what was really the point of it all.  And I think the main point was this:

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By Roger Butner, ago

Happiness

“I’m really frustrated with my marriage.” – “My wife is driving me crazy!” – “I am so sick of my husband!” – “Our marriage just isn’t what it used to be.” – “I just don’t feel satisfied with my marriage.” – “Is this as good as it gets?” – “I’m not happy anymore.”

So many different ways of expressing dissatisfaction with married life – and I’ve heard a lot of them in my office.  The details of the problems can vary greatly, and just when I think I’ve heard it all, I hear a painful new story.  Humans are tremendously complex creatures, being made in the likeness of a fantastic, multi-layered God.  To say that human relationships, particularly marriages, are complex is a huge understatement.  And yet…

While I am always keenly interested in the particular dynamics of the individuals and marriages of the couples with whom I work, I am beginning to see marriage in simpler terms.  Most couples who seek counseling with me do so because one or both spouses are feeling unhappy.  And they are hoping I can offer them the guidance they need to find the path back to happiness.  It is human nature to desire happiness and fulfillment, and we certainly expect to experience it in our marriages, of all places.   We all know we will experience some times of unhappiness in this journey of life, but significant ongoing unhappiness within a marriage is typically a sign of a problem that needs to be addressed and resolved.  And professional marital counseling is often the best approach.  But here is where it gets…tricky. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Great SEX!!!

Being the week of Valentine’s Day, I know what is on the mind of many. Okay, besides chocolate. Sex. Men and women get married with the hope and expectation of having a great sex life. (I know there are plenty of folks working on a great sex life who aren’t married, but I’m sticking with God’s plan for sex – between a wife and husband only.) I would encourage you to read my article in the February issue of Lousiana Homes and Gardens entitled “Passion Like Never Before.” Because the magazine is for a broad audience, I could not go into Biblical guidance there. Well, this is my website, and I believe God’s guidelines in scripture are the best instructions we can find for all areas of life, so here we go!

For those who are familiar with the Bible, you might be expecting me to launch into some hot passage from Song of Solomon – or maybe 1 Corinthians 7 – or perhaps Ephesians 5. Actually, in my experience, the following passage offers the most powerful guidelines for transforming a lackluster sex life into a hotbed of marital bliss – and it never even mentions marriage. Before we move into the scripture, we’ve got to address a common misconception. Hot sex is not about techniques and positions (although they can be fun to learn together). It’s not about buying the right equipment (I do recommend a towel and some unscented baby wipes for cleanup – and a bottle of Astroglide or KY liquid comes in handy now and then). Here’s the deal – a passionate, fulfilling, enduring sex life is the fruit of a marriage where husband and wife are committed to blessing, serving, and encouraging one another in all aspects of life, not just in the bedroom. There is absolutely nothing wrong with seeking pleasure in your sex life. God intends it to be immensely pleasurable. Just make sure you don’t get so focused on your own pleasure-seeking that you lose sight of your relationship with your spouse and how to offer your mate the kind of security, pleasure, and fulfillment that would bless him/her. With that, let’s look at Philippians 2:1-7, what I believe is the best model anywhere for how to have a great marriage – including a great sex life. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Inspired!

My frequency of article-posting has slipped lately.  One of the reasons has been that my focus over the last few weeks has been more on soaking up some inspiring messages than on writing inspiring messages.  Allow me to share some of my recent inspiration with you:

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By Roger Butner, ago

Resolution Revolution

So, are you joining the masses of people who make annual “new year’s resolutions?”  If so, you are likely feeling one of two ways about making these so-called “resolutions.”  You may be feeling really motivated and hopeful, telling yourself and maybe others, “I’m gonna do it!  It’s time I made this change, and I can’t wait!”  Others may be feeling cynical and embarrassed, thinking something to the tune of, “I can’t believe I’m actually even making this new year’s resolution.  Those are always such a joke.  Who am I kidding?!  I’m not really going to change.  I’m just making new year’s resolutions to feel better about myself for a while.”  And, some may be feeling a mixture of both – experiencing hope and doubt at the same time.  However you may be feeling about taking this step of proclaiming new year’s resolutions, I’m offering my two cents to you today in hopes that you will truly make the changes your heart is longing for, and that you will sustain those changes as a lasting new way of life.  If that sounds good, and you really would like to see yourself make these changes, I’ve got some useful guidelines that will help you turn your “resolutions” into a revolution this year… (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Presents

This week is Thanksgiving week, a time for seeing family, enjoying great food, counting our blessings, savoring annual traditions…and joining the mad rush for the latest, greatest Christmas presents.  With the explosion of MP3 players, portable satellite radios, widescreen hi-def televisions, next generation video game systems, and more – this shopping season promises to mean big bucks for Santa’s elves in the gizmo department.  And isn’t that what it’s really all about?:  Getting the latest cool stuff.  Impressing family and friends with your technosavvy.  Picking out just the right gift that will wow the socks off the recipient.  Boosting the national economy.  Feeling that sense of satisfaction at watching the kids rip open enough presents to entertain half the city for the next three years.

No, that’s not what it’s all about!!!

Oh, there’s nothing wrong with giving and receiving nice things for Christmas.  It’s a cool tradition that I happen to enjoy, and can be very meaningful – even healing.  But if that is the heart of your Christmas holiday season, you are missing out on the best things in life.  This week, I would like to share with you some suggestions for Christmas presents that will bring lasting joy and memories FAR beyond anything you can buy at Wal-Mart or Best Buy or E-bay.  I sincerely hope you will use my Christmas gift list and make this a holiday that really touches someone.  You never know, YOU may be the one most deeply changed by your efforts to give something real and meaningful this year. (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago

Blessings

Following is my second attempt to post this article.  God, in His great sense of humor, allowed something in cyberspace to swallow my first article.  Given the nature of today’s writing, it was a pretty good test.  I’d like to say I passed with flying colors, and kept my mind focused on blessings.  However, the reality is I was fuming when I realized my work was ruined.  Where would I be without grace?!  As I write these words again, I realize how important they are for me to practice, and practice, and practice.

I’d like to share with you the words of a favorite song and a favorite scripture.  The song has impacted me my entire life, from my early childhood worshiping with the Pleasant Valley Church of Christ in Little Rock until today.  The scripture has become particularly meaningful to me since I began professionally helping people with their problems.  If you will allow them, these words have the power to radically change your life – that is, if you are interested in a life full of peace, joy, and contentment:

“When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed, when you are discouraged, thinking all is lost, count your many blessings, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?  Does the cross seem heavy you were called to bear?  Count your many blessings, ev’ry doubt will fly, and you will be singing as the days go by.

So, amid the conflict, whether great or small, do not be discouraged, God is over all; Count your many blessings, angels will attend, help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count your blessings, name them one by one; Count your blessings, see what God hath done; Count your blessings, name them one by one; Count your many blessings, see what God hath done.”

As you consider the words of that great hymn of inspiration, consider the inspiring words of the greatest evangelist of all time, written from prison while awaiting trial for a death sentence: (more…)

By Roger Butner, ago