“I’m really frustrated with my marriage.” – “My wife is driving me crazy!” – “I am so sick of my husband!” – “Our marriage just isn’t what it used to be.” – “I just don’t feel satisfied with my marriage.” – “Is this as good as it gets?” – “I’m not happy anymore.”
So many different ways of expressing dissatisfaction with married life – and I’ve heard a lot of them in my office. The details of the problems can vary greatly, and just when I think I’ve heard it all, I hear a painful new story. Humans are tremendously complex creatures, being made in the likeness of a fantastic, multi-layered God. To say that human relationships, particularly marriages, are complex is a huge understatement. And yet…
While I am always keenly interested in the particular dynamics of the individuals and marriages of the couples with whom I work, I am beginning to see marriage in simpler terms. Most couples who seek counseling with me do so because one or both spouses are feeling unhappy. And they are hoping I can offer them the guidance they need to find the path back to happiness. It is human nature to desire happiness and fulfillment, and we certainly expect to experience it in our marriages, of all places. We all know we will experience some times of unhappiness in this journey of life, but significant ongoing unhappiness within a marriage is typically a sign of a problem that needs to be addressed and resolved. And professional marital counseling is often the best approach. But here is where it gets…tricky. (more…)