Click here to read my latest “Parenting 101” segment: “Encouraging Healthy Friendships In Your Children’s Lives.” Here is my summary statement: “Whatever the age or stage of your children, be willing to experience your children’s activities, interests, and friendships without either defensive, judgmental rejection or taking over through over-involvement. Be Read more…
Q – How do I know if my child is ready for a “sleep-away” camp?
A – Most children can handle the away from home camp experience around age 8, 9, or 10. Certainly, your child’s personality is a big factor. Some are more independent, while others are more “homebodies.” However, one of the most important factors is whether or not YOU, the parent, are ready for your child to go away to camp. If the thought of sending your child to a camp away from home makes you nervous, consider starting him/her at a day camp at an earlier age. This can help get both of you ready for the big transition. Also, don’t start with a camp that lasts for a big chunk of the summer – one week is a reasonable length for the first big camp experience.
Q – How can I prepare my child for camp?
A – Talk about it well before the time comes, and keep the conversation positive. Emphasize the fun and the new experiences, adventures, and friendships your child will discover at camp. Empower your child by letting your child know how much you believe in her/him. The two most important skills your child needs to ensure a positive camp experience are both relational: 1. respecting and obeying authorities, and 2. treating others with respect. Obviously, these are attributes that won’t be developed overnight, and should be foundational in the day to day raising and training of children.
Q – Why should I send my child away to camp?
A – There are so many great benefits of the camp experience! Children have an opportunity to develop a greater sense of healthy independence, which will serve them well for life. Many new skills and activities can be learned at camp, from crafts to sports to group games to fun songs and skits. Kids really get to grow in new ways at camp. It is also an opportunity to expose your children to the benefits of healthy mentors – people other than parents that are willing to invest time in kids to help them grow up well. Camp offers the vital element of allowing kids to take risks – both physical and social – in a supervised and encouraging environment. Boys and girls both need the chance to take risks to help them mature and develop a strong sense of self-confidence and positive identity. Another increasingly important element of camp is the break it offers kids from electronic entertainment and gadgetry. No TV, internet, movies, or video games. Trust me, this is a really healthy break for your children and teens. And even if your camp allows cell phones, I strongly recommend keeping them at home. If there is an emergency, believe me, the camp will get in touch with you. Otherwise, you and your child could both benefit from cutting the electronic string for a week or so. Which brings me to the final camp benefit – it offers parents an opportunity to take a parenting vacation. You deserve it, and shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying it. It is healthy for you and for your kids.
Q – What kind of camp choices are there? (more…)
Click here to access my list of recommended reading for self-injury. Also, there are several links to helpful websites under the section of “self-injury links” on the right side column of my website.
Check out my Parenting 101 page to see my latest interview and read the Q & A regarding children/adolescents and self-injury.
Parents of adolescents, how many of you enjoy your children’s favorite music – if you can even understand it? I realize there are families in which parents and children enjoy the same musical tastes. However, for many, the choice of music preference can become not only a difference between generations, but even a focal point of major misunderstanding and conflict. I would urge you, as parents, to give serious consideration to what I am sharing today. With the right approach, you can take the huge barrier of your teen’s musical identity and turn it into an open doorway into the deep struggles, hopes, fears, beliefs, and desires lying in the heart and mind of your son or daughter.
Music has always been important to people. It has the power to touch and stir our spirits in a unique and powerful way, giving voice to our inner thoughts and shaping our identities in the process. In modern America, each generation had their music that defined them and expressed their inner selves outwardly for all to hear – much of it commonly shared by the majority of one’s generational peers. However, in postmodern adolescent America, music has become a much more personal expression – with scores of styles, genres, and subgenres available for download. And let’s face it, much of today’s music (but certainly not all!) is distasteful, offensive, or outright disturbing to the parent who can pick out enough words to hear the themes. So, what do you do when confronted with shocking album covers, myspace pages, cds, and downloads?
Click here or pick up the September issue of Baton Rouge Parents Magazine to read my article on the growing epidemic of “cutting” (self-injury). For the record, the magazine took some editorial liberty with my article – most notably changing most of the pronouns to “she” and “her.” I assume Read more…
The very serious problem of “cutting” (also known as self-injury or self-mutilation) is growing to epidemic proportion at an alarming rate – particularly among adolescents (a group that spans from about age 10 to 25). I will write more about this dangerous struggle later, but for now, here is a MSWord Read more…
Many parents fall into one of two extremes: 1. Sheltering their children from any potential dangers. 2. Leaving their children to figure out life on their own. Either extreme is a big mistake! The first robs children of valuable learning and growing opportunities. The second offers them no guidance from Read more…
Humans are wired for connection. We all need relationships – family, romantic, friendships, community, etc. In our constantly changing world of wireless connectivity, we seem to be more connected to more people than ever before. Between cell phones, text messaging, instant messaging, email, blogging, MySpace, Blackberries, and so on, we Read more…