Sorry about the “S-word” in that video, but he just nailed this issue, so I’m sharing it.  This will be short and sweet…

I am “on” my iPhone too much.  Facebooking mostly.  But also texting, taking silly pictures, and just looking for stuff.  This needs to change.  I am missing out on life.  I am missing out on my wife.  This is ridiculous!  So, here’s the plan, at least as a starting point.

After 9pm, the iPhone goes to the charger and stays outta my hands.  And the one I’m really wrestling with is this one – Don’t get on Facebook unless I have taken the time to either write a meaningful blog post for the day or read something meaningful from a book for at least half an hour.  I don’t want to get legalistic about it.  Believe me – I know what an epic fail that path is for actually solving any kind of heart issues.  Been there, done that.  But I need structure, and this thing needs turning around.  My wife tells me I share too much on Facebook.  True.  Maybe this post is too much.  But I’m thinking some of you can relate and could use an encouragement and a helpful idea.  And you may start finding some helpful stuff on my website again soon.  : ]

#NeedFreedom

Great article from today’s Greater Baton Rouge Business Report!

And if you want some practical tips on cutting down screen time in your household, check out this great website / organization.

(Thanks to WAFB Channel 9 for inviting me to share this message with their viewers!)

Click here to watch WAFB bullying interview with Dr. Butner

Q. Is bullying becoming a worse problem in our society today?  If so, why?

A. YES!  It is clearly becoming a growing epidemic among us.  I believe the most significant contributing factor is the growing number of communication channels available that allow us to send powerful messages immediately, without taking time to think through our emotion or impulse.  There are two reasons this has given rise to more bullying behavior.  First, such digital communication is viral.  One message sent can quickly be spread to mass numbers of people in ways that were unimaginable to us back when I was a teen in the 80s and early 90s.  Second, such communication channels give an illusion of safe distance where it becomes easy to think of the message simply as fun comments, and not as a direct assault on a real live person.  As we become increasing consumers of digital communication, we will continue to see a rise in bullying, particularly cyber-bullying.

Q. What can we do about this?

A. Parents, teachers, coaches, school administrators, pastors, scout leaders, and the like must commit to a no-tolerance stand against any type of bullying behavior.  In addition to physically aggressive behavior and threatening messages, this includes hurtful name-calling, manipulative pressure tactics, deliberate exclusion and ridicule, etc.  Children and youth need to learn from an early age that the adult leaders of their community are standing together against such foolishness, thoughtlessness, and cruelty.

A. Parents can contact your school administration to find out what is in place to monitor and respond to bullying.  Challenge your school to be proactive and effective in their approach.

A. Parents need to take time to clearly teach and coach our kids in respectful behavior toward others, including face to face, phone conversation, texting, and online formats.  Don’t assume your kids will do the right thing.  Train them to do the right thing!

A. We must watch our own words and actions carefully.  For example, what message are you sending your kids when you scream and cuss at players, coaches, and officials during a football game that isn’t playing out to your liking?  How do you treat other drivers during traffic?  What kind of snarky comments and “likes” are you posting on your own Facebook page?  Any time we use our words and actions to tear down others, we are essentially giving our kids permission to be bullies.

A. Teach victims to respond calmly, rather than reacting emotionally.  Emotional reactions typically “fuel the fire” of bullies, bringing on more of the unwanted behavior.

A. Help victims find genuine strength and self-worth in their abilities and your love.

Q. What are some signs that your child might be the victim of bullying?

A. Sudden lack of interest in social activities.

A. Sudden change in Facebook/MySpace activity (You ARE keeping an eye on your teen’s Facebook/MySpace activity, AREN’T YOU?!!)

A. Lashing out toward siblings, pets, property, etc.

For much more guidance, information, resources, etc, check out Bullying.org

Book Recommendation: “The Wounded Spirit” by Frank Peretti

Just wanted to let you know I have updated my “CHALLENGES” page – drawn directly from my posts on Twitter (to Facebook).  May you be blessed by the questions, challenges, and ponderings you discover here.  I would be grateful for your prayers as I consider taking steps toward publishing this work in a book.

With Hope in Him,

Roger

I know.  For those of you who have been following me on Twitter and/or Facebook, you realize this statement comes near apostasy for me.  But what you may not realize is that I grew up in Little Rock, AR, home of Jennings Osborne and family.  Click here to get a visual tour of the world record home Christmas lights display (year after year after year) that truly makes Clark’s efforts look about as bright as a matchstick at dusk.

Reading the account on the Osborne website paints the neighbors as Grinches and themselves as altruistic. I’ll take the middle ground.  It was truly something breathtaking to behold, but the traffic was an absolute nightmare, and I don’t even want to imagine being a next-door neighbor to the Osborne compound on Cantrell.

Between viewing Christmas Vacation last night, reflecting on the otherworldly light spectacle that grew exponentially for years on end at the Jennings Osborne compound, and reading Trey Morgan’s post this morning, I have been thinking about how over the top we can go about things that have such little eternal value.  Can you imagine a world in which followers of Christ were as passionate about living in the Way of the Kingdom of Heaven as we can be about decorating for Christmas, or cheering for our favorite athletics team, or watching entertaining movies, or posting stuff on Facebook that gets lots of comments, or generally eating, drinking, and being merry?  Sorry, John Lennon – that’s the world I want to imagine!

Here’s to the prophets of living on fire for Christ today – Shane Claiborne and Francis Chan and John Eldredge and Dallas Willard and Richard Foster and Eugene Peterson and…  Who else would you put on this list?

The term “tween” was once a clever Tolkien linguistic creation that refered to the adolescent period from ages 20 – 32 in the life span of a hobbit.  It has taken on a much more popular usage in recent years, being applied to the period of “pre-adolescence” or pre-teen years from about 9 or 10  to 12.

Keep in mind that adolescence is a cultural construct, and not a biological or emotional dictate.  In other words, puberty is an inevitable part of normal human development, typically happening somewhere between the ages of 9 and 14.  But “adolescence” encompasses far more than that, and has grown in definition and cultural practice from its initial span of two or three years (ages 14-16 ish) to well over a decade (ages 12-25+).

And since you value my two cents enough to read my blog post today, I will tell you how I see this emerging cultural construct of “tweens.”  It seems to be a way to make it culturally acceptable, even cute, to market goods and services to children and to dress them up and put them in adult situations and pressures for which we have only barely equipped them, if at all.

For example, while I am glad to see this particular fashion trend seems to have waned, it didn’t strike me as the least bit cute to print big, bold words across the backside of short shorts and then market them to pre-teen girls.  How do you prepare your little girl for the fact that guys of all ages will now be looking at her rear because of the slogan stamped across it, whether out of innocent curiousity or marketing-induced sexual interest?

I’ll not go on with more examples, as I think this one fairly well represents my concern with the “Tween” phenomena.  Well, okay, one more quick one.  If you are looking at your 8 year old, and wondering when is the right time to buy him or her an i-phone, I recommend first asking at what age you got your first cell phone.  Then ask what fundamental change has occurred that has you thinking of buying an instant internet multi-media text-messaging portal for your youngster in the foreseeable future.  The group-force of culture can be very powerful and difficult to resist.  However, as parents we have the inherent responsibility to provide both the boundaries and the training that allow our children to be children, while equipping and preparing them to face life fully when they emerge into adulthood.

I appreciate the wisdom in the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.”  But it sure can be tough when a parent has to stand against the village so that the child can really be raised well.  God bless you, folks!

My friend was very gracious about it, and explained it without giving me a hard time.  Whew!  Turns out, “FTW!” means “For The Win!” and is used to signify that someone basically sank the winning basket by doing or saying whatever you just referenced in the post.  The example he used was, “George Lucas remade ROTJ without Ewoks, FTW!!!”  To which I replied, “Thanks for the tangible example, (friend). Like, Lucas remade Ep. 1 with light-saber duel btn Jar-Jar & Darth Maul, FTW!”  To which (friend) replied, “Great job, Roger! But, to complete it, it must be clear that Darth Maul emerges as the victor!  FTW!!!”  To which I replied, “Well, (friend) – I think anyone who needs that reassurance would fail to appreciate the beauty of the comment in the 1st place!”

I hope you enjoyed that little stroll down a Star Wars inspired Twitter tangent.

My ultimate point is this: I’m wondering how often I approach life “For The Win!!!”  I definitely have a FTW! attitude sometimes, making choices with intentionality, passion, and excellence.  Sometimes, however, I totally settle for just good enough.  A tie will be fine, just don’t want to lose.  Or even worse – I don’t mind losing this one, as long as I don’t get annihilated.

I’m not saying I have to “win” or “be the best” at everything.  But am I living life each day FTW!, or just doing enough to stay out of last place in the division?  Hmmm…

When was the last time you did something in such a way that it would have been so fitting to have ended it with a loud, “FTW!”?   Just wondering.

(I chose to withhold the name of my friend on Twitter for two reasons.  One, he has his posts marked as private, and I will honor his preference.  And two, I would hate for you to change your high view of this good friend of mine, and begin seeing him as some sort of Ewok-hating maniac.  And to those who are offended by my obvious disdain for Jar-Jar Binks, well, I happen to know a great therapist!)

Yesterday I shared a link to a video that gives a rather unnerving, satirical viewpoint on Twittering, the micro-blogging phenomenon of which I have been a part now for maybe two or three months. Today I am glad to share with you how all this high-tech instant communication can be a part of a real relationship where coffee is imbibed, stories are shared, theology is hammered out, and friendship is deepened.

Last week as I was going through my emails at the office, I got an instant message (G-mail style) from a good friend of mine. It was one of those “Wazzup?” kind of messages. Rather quickly, this simple correspondence evolved into some genuine theological discussion. My Catholic friend had been talking to his Pentecostal co-worker about the Trinity, and he was curious to hear my non-denominational, evangelical take on it. I quickly suggested to him that a late lunch at Raising Cane’s was required if this was to go any further. (For those of you living outside the range of Cane’s, you are sadly missing out on the finest chicken fingers and dipping sauce known to the free world. Guthrie’s in Tuscaloosa, AL holds a close second.)

The conversation was spirited, heartening, and rather deep. As we were leaving, my buddy commented that we really should do this more regularly, kinda like the old guys who have breakfast every Friday morning at Frank’s, or IHOP, or whatever. We both laughed, but agreed he was onto something, and left with an undefined hope of continuing this dialogue.

So yesterday he sends me another G-mail instant message, clarifying the Trinitarian view of his Pentecostal colleague, etc. Before we finished the online conversation, we had set up a standing weekly appointment for coffee on Friday mornings at 6:30. I sense real, lasting friendship in the making – the kind that doesn’t seem to happen as much anymore in our culture of surface relationships and conversational skimming. We’ll see.

My point today is this: tools make whatever impact they make based on how they are used by the tool-wielder. All this communication technology can easily be used as a substitute for real relationships while giving the appearance of many friendships. But it can be a helpful method for real people to make real progress in deepening real relationships over real coffee. Bottoms up!