Here are three key ways (there are certainly plenty more) to sweat with your kids to produce big results in your relationship and in their developing character.  If you live anywhere near my neck of the woods (South Louisiana), and you spend any time at all with your kids, you will be sweating with them.  But might as well do it with purpose.  PARENT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!  Right?

1. Get out there and join them in their fun!

Play in the yard.  Climb that treehouse (build it first, if necessary).  Ride that bike.  Throw that ball.  Try the disc golf park.  Practice that sport.  Play chase.  Sit and talk out in that special spot.  Play that weird, evolving game your kid is trying to teach you that seems to make no sense whatsoever.  Etc.  Joining our kids in their choice of fun outdoor activities helps to keep parents young at heart, and shows our kids that we are eager to be a part of their world and don’t insist on them always joining our world to spend time with us.

2. Invite your kids to assist you in your work or special projects.

Not all kids will jump at this chance, I know.  But many children (especially if you start when they are young!) are thrilled with the opportunity to be Mom’s or Dad’s right hand helper on a manual project.  It gives them such a sense of value and self-respect, as well as helping them learn valuable life skills, when we include them in that cleaning, building, planting, arranging, etc. project.

3. Serve someone together.

Find someone in your neighborhood, church, or school community who could really use some help with a special project or maintenance challenge that is beyond their capability.  Bring your kids and serve them as a family.  Your kids will learn the powerful spiritual and community value of blessing others (maybe you’ll learn it with them!).  Your relationship will be cemented in a fresh way by sharing the common bond of sweat equity together.

And don’t forget to have fun cooling off together when sweat time is over!

These images represent joy.  They are snapshots of diligence and reward.  But most importantly, they are pictures of faith in action!

Yesterday, I took Shep on a fishing “trip” to the local YMCA catch and release pond, where I hoped to share a couple of hours or so of good father-son bonding.  I suppose my three goals were to: 1. enjoy time with my son, 2. face my fears of inadequacy and clumsiness at outdoorsy stuff, and 3. help my son gain some knowledge and skill in fishing, so he can do more of it and enjoy a good thing that was largely missing from my childhood.  As it turns out, God had a far more important goal for these two fellas: TO GROW OUR FAITH!

My first challenge was walking into the bait and tackle shop.  I felt totally intimidated and out of place; as though I had a neon sign over my head that said, “Look at clumsy idiot who is pretending to be a man, but knows nothing about the ways of the Louisiana Sportsman.”  But, praise God, I received the grace and courage to march right into that testosterone-land with my son, show him around the store while we waited for the clerk to get free, and then ask the Manly Man if they sold live bait.  (I had been told worms were a good choice for where we would be fishing, and I remembered crickets were supposed to be another good choice.)  He didn’t seem to pick up on my fear-scent, and very respectfully sent us to the nearby live bait shack, where I proceeded to buy five bucks worth of crickets and nightcrawlers.  So far, so good.  Thank you, God for helping me grow up some more as a man and lead my son.  Now, time to hit the fishing hole!

We parked the truck close to the pond, grabbed our gear, and found a nice spot on the bank where I thought the bass would enjoy dining on the lunch we were prepared to offer them.  For about the first five minutes, I worked with Shep on his casting skills.  I did a fairly good job of balancing showing, watching, coaching, helping, and remaining silent.  Not an easy balance for me – I don’t know about you.  After that, he spent another five or ten minutes enjoying showing off his new casting skills as we watched in anticipation for that red and white bobber to dive under the water.  Not even one nibble, despite the tantalizing splashing of fish here and there around the pond.  He then decided I could take over the fishing, while he set out to smooth a strip of grass from the top of the hill down to the bank where I stood – rolling and tumbling down over and over like…a seven year old boy.  Then, in about five minutes, came the comment I had been dreading…

“Dad, fishing is BORING!  Let’s go!”

The Holy Spirit then prompted me to suggest we pray for God to send us some fish.  I know.  I know.  Many a fishermen over the centuries has prayed for fish, only to come up empty handed.  Maybe I was asking for trouble.  I just knew I wasn’t ready to give up on our day, I believe turning to God for help in ANY situation is always the right thing to do, and I wanted to use this mundane life experience as another lesson to point him to our Father.  He asked me if God would really do something like that – send fish to us, just because we asked.  I told him that Jesus once told his friends where to catch a whole boatload of fish after they had been up all night with not one fish, so this was definitely something God had done before.  So he joined me in a simple prayer of thanking God for the beautiful day and asking Him to send us some fish.  I was TOTALLY unprepared for what happened next!  (Totally revealing my need to grow in my faith.)

Shep says, just as matter of fact as you please, “Dad, God is telling me we should go over to that dark water by the bridge.  He is telling me that’s where the fish are.”

I almost laughed, but instead said, “Well, son, I think we should listen to God and do what He says.  Lead the way!”  Shep marched along the bank toward the bridge.  “Okay, son, I think this is close enough.”  “No, Dad.  God said the fish are over THERE!” “Okay, son, let’s do it God’s way.”  We finally reached the spot, and I put another cricket on the hook for him.  At this point, I have to tell you, I never even considered the faith-disappointment it would have been for him if we encountered no fish after praying and obeying.  That didn’t matter.

He threw a perfect strike at the shadowy shallow in the lake where God had directed his young eyes and heart.  WHAMMO!!!  Down went the bobber in ten seconds!  “Go!  Go!  Go!  Go!  Go!,” I yelled in encouragement.  And the pictures above are tribute to the incredible gift of God that followed.  We caught over a dozen fish (well, some were repeats, but that’s cool) together, with Shep catching most of them.  And as amazing as the gift of fish was, it was a trifle in comparison to the gift of faith God gave us both.  Especially me.

God, lead me to the childlike faith of my son.  Teach me to not only talk to you about everything in life, but to LISTEN FOR YOUR LOVING GUIDANCE.  Forgive me of my unbelief and my pride of self-sufficiency and my foolish ways of trying to fit you in a tidy little box.  And thank you for the gift of my son.  The two of you amazed me yesterday.

Keep Louisiana Beautiful

Just wanted to introduce you to this non-profit organization whose office is right here at C-K Office Park, home of our wonderful crew of Christian counselors at Murphy Toerner and Associates.  Whether it is a cigarette butt, piece of gum, candy/snack wrapper, drink can, or whatever else, do you ever stop to consider what happens to your trash after you throw it down on the ground?  I’m not asking anyone to become some sort of zealous “tree-hugging” environmentalist.  But take some responsibility for your self and your garbage, and see how much more beautiful the world can be.

This morning I awoke to a Baton Rouge that is both soggy and beautiful.  Sometimes life is like that.  Rains come and fall all over our lives.  As the showers fall or the storms rage, we aren’t quite sure whether to feel anxious or encouraged.  Changes are coming, as they inevitably do, but no one asked our permission first.  We can feel both peaceful and melancholy at the same time.  The rains stop and we venture out of our cover.  Enjoy the fresh earthy scents.  Pull a couple of weeds that have been loosened by the deluge.  Drink in the rich hues of green around us.

The day itself seems to be thoughtful – mournful, sad, contemplative, anticipatory.  A good day for pouring fresh rich coffee and drinking it slowly.  Read some Frost or Dostoevsky or Whitman or Nouwen or some other writer who invites you to slowly hear and consider their words.

A day made to be encountered slowly and reverently.  Not to be rushed and ignored, but lingered and savored.

Aaaaaaahhhhh…

Wonder what today will bring.

Even as I consider the last, I hear the fresh rainfall, which God mercifully held aloft until I reached my office.  Open the blinds to my window looking out on the grass and trees and pond and rustic red barn.  Wonder what could ever have compelled me to close the blinds yesterday.  Although I have not yet spent time today in God’s Word, I have spent time drinking deeply of His well of life, seeing and hearing and tasting and smelling and feeling Him and His wonderful creative redemptive Truth all around me.

Ever have a day like that?  We would love to hear about it.

4. Take time for quiet meditation. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to quiet meditation.  Different people find different types of quiet contemplation and stillness to be soothing and calming.  In fact, sometimes the same person needs different types of meditation on different days.

Prayer.  Devotional reading.  Journaling.  Intentional resting.  Listening.  Meditation on a word or phrase.  Quiet viewing of natural or artistic beauty.  Practice slowing your breathing and heartrate.  These are just a few powerful examples of ways to slow down your body and mind, inviting calm and peace to bathe and refresh your spirit.  What other methods have you experienced that really helped to slow and calm you (even if you haven’t practiced them in a while)?  And why haven’t you practiced them in a while?

You don’t have to become a monk or a nun to incorporate regular times of quiet meditation into the rhythm of your life.  Anyone can find half an hour a week for this essential practice.  I’ll bet you could even find fifteen minutes a day, if you are willing to cut down or cut out some of the time and energy drains in your typical routine.  How much time do you spend watching TV?  Facebooking or on MySpace?  Playing video or computer games?  Are you noticing how much time you give to screen viewing every day?  If you find it unsettling, decide to take charge and be a more savvy investor of your time! (For more on this issue, I highly recommend “Amusing Ourselves to Death” by Neil Postman.)

That daily commute that seems to be a never-ending battle to arrive two and a half minutes earlier?  Slow down and enjoy the ride.  Listen to music that soothes or encourages you, and really let yourself hear the music.  Rather than cursing that knothead who just cut you off, spend time praying about how you want to improve as a person in one of your key life roles.  I recently purchased a cd of sounds recorded from the beautifuly Atchafalaya Basin in South Louisiana during three distinct seasons of the year.  I save that bad boy for those days when I’m really bent in a twist.  Straightens me right out and soothes my soul!

We live in such a busy, driven, stress-filled age and culture!  I love the way Hal Runkel puts it.  He says it is really fairly easy to follow the old saying, “Don’t just stand there, do something!”  Sometimes the harder and better approach is to “Don’t just do something…stand there!” Thanks for that, Hal.  Good stuff.

Now, go find a quiet spot out there in God’s good creation and just enjoy it for a few minutes…

With Hope, Roger

UPDATE 6:35am, Labor Day – Getting windy around here, but so far no big deal.  From watching the excellent news coverage on WAFB, I am extremely impressed with how well our state has learned its lessons from Katrina and Rita – from state officials to local officials to the terrific citizens of South Louisiana.  From what I can tell, Cajun Country is as ready as possible for whatever Gustav brings our way.

UPDATE Deux 9:40am, Labor Day – Pretty major wind gusts around here, but Gustav looks to be taming to a level Baton Rouge will easily weather.  A big limb did come cracking down from the neighbor’s tree right across the street – thankfully bringing no property damage.  That tree looks like it may fare worse before this is over, but it looks to be the only one in jeopardy that I can see.  We’ve decided watching “The Challenge of the Superfriends” is a higher priority than watching the news at this point, if that tells you anything.  The worst has yet to hit, but we’re thankful to be expecting a much more reasonable worst than what folks thought a couple days ago.  Keep the prayers going!

Late morning.

Late afternoon – same tree.
UPDATE Three – 4:15pm Labor Day – Okay, I’ve got a whole new respect for hurricanes now, and we just saw “cat 1″ gusts in Baton Rouge.  This has been a wild day.  I’ll post more pictures when I can, but let’s just say the previous two were just a foreshadowing of what our neighborhood now looks like.  Thankfully, no damage to our home, vehicles, or selves, or to any of our neighbors that I can tell.  Next door neighboor will definitely need a re-roof job after the storm, but looks like he only lost shingles.  Thanks for your prayers.  We’re hoping for restored power ASAP. 

UPDATE Four – Friday, September 5 – I was finally able to upload a few pictures from after the storm.  I wish I’d made the effort to get more, better shots of everything.  But I guess I had a few things on my mind.

Our live oak survived, but not without injury.

In the background is the “honey tree” I mentioned on the air which had a beehive and seven or eight full sheets of honeycomb inside.  It was a very large water oak which we have been nervously watching for years during heavy storms and mercifully fell into the yard and street without damaging any homes but the one within its cavernous hollow trunk.  It supplied a tasty afternoon snack and breakfast for the morning after the storm, but not without some stings.

There is something to be said for the four year old response to a hurricane: 1. Help clean up for a little while.  2. Celebrate what remains by climbing the nearest intact tree.  3. Run and splash barefooted in the puddles with all your might.

Earth Day 2008

EPA Earth Day

Earth Day EnviroLinks

Geaux Green

Recycle Rouge

Earth911

Kids Page – Recycling

Do Something

Christian Environmental Organization Links

Your Green Partner,

Dr. Roger Butner

Tomorrow I am going out with my best buddy to a big stretch of woods, and we are going to shoot our shotguns. It isn’t any particular hunting season right now, so we’ll just shoot pine cones and dead limbs and such. I got my Remington 870 12-gauge for my 33rd birthday in February, my first ever real gun (the Daisy BB gun of my boyhood wasn’t too dangerous, except to the occasional backyard security light). I was inspired to get a firearm after reading through “The Way of the Wild Heart” by John Eldredge. I still haven’t even fired it once! My friend, on the other hand, grew up hunting in the woods of North Louisiana. So, we’re going out together for a manly experience of shooting harmless forest debris to enjoy our friendship and to give me the feel for firing my gun…

(Sunday evening) Well, my friend and I both survived our testosterone adventure firing lead shot at inanimate objects in the woods on Friday afternoon.  I’ve had a busy weekend, and not much time to offer deep reflection on our experience, and so offer any particularly rich life lessons to my website readership.  Sorry, that’s life sometimes.  For now, I will simply note three important rewards of the little gunpowder excursion:

1. We had a blast!  (actually 50 of them)  The whole gun experience and the conversations we shared driving out, in the woods, and driving back – all very enjoyable.

2. I found out I am a pretty darn good shot.  That was very meaningful to me, as my father was an excellent shot in the years of his early manhood as a soldier and officer in the United States Army.  I never really seemed to inherit any of his skills or know-how with tools and such.  This turned out to be a very important connection for me to my Dad.  I wish he could have seen me.  I can’t wait to tell him about it and show him a couple of my “trophies.”  (No, we didn’t shoot any animals.  I don’t think the piece of paper or empty shotgun shell felt a thing when I obliterated them.)

3. Call me a redneck or whatever you will – I feel a bit more manly today, knowing I can handle a shotgun with no problem.  Thanks, John Eldredge.  I needed that.