Jan 27 2010
Tag Archive 'manhood'
Jan 08 2010
Real Man
Colt McCoy – hats off to you, brother! Folks, you’ve got to see this minute and a half interview! For those who aren’t aware, Colt McCoy was a Heisman runner-up for the last two years, and one of the most outstanding quarterbacks ever to play college football. His Texas Longhorns played an impressive undefeated season and clearly earned the number two spot to play against the Alabama Crimson Tide for the national championship last night. In the very first series of Texas downs, he took a hard hit to the shoulder, which apparently caused some type of nerve injury that was significant enough to sideline him for the entire game. This resulted in the freshman backup QB playing the entire game. No one knows how the game would have gone had McCoy played, but the Longhorns lost to a fairly dominant Alabama team, despite an impressive rapid buildup of poise and confidence in Gilbert, the green QB sub.
Given all of that, listen to the humble, steadfast words of this incredibly talented young man of faith:
Sep 09 2009
Duped!
I am increasingly realizing that I have been terribly duped for much of my life. My flesh has conspired with the American culture of hedonism to raise me on a steady diet of the consideration, “What do I feel like doing?” Some regular variations include, “What would make me more comfortable?” “What would make me happy?” and “What is easiest?” Let’s face it, a great deal of the advertising that bombards us on a daily basis is built on these kinds of questions.
And it usually starts very early. As a parent, I have a tremendous responsibility to train my child in the reality that being led by these flesh-directed considerations will not bring him to fulfillment, joy, and freedom. No small task, when the millions of mighty voices of our worldly culture are chanting in unison, “Have it your way!”
I am sick of being duped by this insidious lie that my flesh will lead me to contentment. It never has, and it never will. God, have mercy on me. Lord, free me from this self-imposed slavery. Spirit, lead me in the paths of righteousness.
And so – last night I decided to defy this old way of life. I checked my schedule for the coming day, and realized I didn’t have to be in the office until late in the day. “Yes! A perfect morning for sleeping in!!! My wife will head to school for the day with our son, leaving me to enjoy the peaceful slumber of an empty house. Beautiful!” Thus spoke the old familiar voice of Comfort. And then another voice spoke within me. A voice more removed, and yet, somehow more intimate. “You don’t need more sleep. Your son does need more time with you, though. And, haven’t you been seeking to cultivate a life of greater discipline?”
Okay, Lord, you guide my steps. And, so I said, “Hey son. How about if I drive you to school tomorrow? Would that be cool?” So this morning, I got up “early,” led my son through his morning tasks, and drove him to school. And not that there is always an immediate, tangible reward for following the voice of God rather than the voice of Comfort, but today there was. As we sat in the car line, waiting for his teacher to bring him to his classroom, we discovered he had his first loose tooth. It was a wonderful moment of growth and mystery and creation and relationship. A moment I would have missed if my lazy bum had been lying in bed, slumbering to the soothing melodies of Comfort.
Aug 28 2009
Fury, Disgust, and Hope
I got this book in the mail today. I just finished reading it. It was one hundred and two pages of the most gut wrenching glimpses of humanity I have ever taken in.
And yet, it gave me hope. Someone is making a difference. A lot of someones are making a difference. Real, soul-freeing differences in the lives of once helpless, victimized, brutalized women and children. WAY TOO MANY CHILDREN!!!
Please, for the love of life and humanity and freedom and innocence and countless thousands upon thousands of children – ORDER YOUR FREE COPY OF “FROM CONGRESS TO THE BROTHEL” RIGHT NOW!!!
Men, I am issuing you a double challenge to order and read the book, and to take the pledge of The Defenders USA and to uphold that pledge with all your might. The harsh reality is that there are demons walking this earth, disguised as men like you and me. Their cold, calloused souls are in desperate need of deliverance and redemption, but first they must be opposed by strong men of faith. Not men like you and me. No, they must be opposed by YOU AND ME, men. The men of God across this planet must rise up and man up and stand and fight against this onslaught of unspeakable wickedness.
Think I’m over the top? Fine. So long as you order the free book and read it. Then get back to me and tell me what a nutjob I am. I am FURIOUS. I am DISGUSTED. I am HOPEFUL. And I have reason for all three. I’M IN THE WAR! Will you join the fight? Would you be in the fight if your children were in the stories on these pages?
Not sure you’re ready to order the book? Okay – read my post entitled “Hell” from a few nights ago and let it sink in. Then come back to this one and click the link to order your book.
Aug 23 2009
Hell
What is your concept of Hell? An eternal fiery inferno. Being in the grotesque presence of Satan forever. Complete separation from God for all time. There are several common Biblical and not-so Biblical concepts and descriptions of Hell.
How about this one?
You are a child who wanders across the wrong path one day and you are violently abducted and transported to some other part of the world where you begin a new “life” of being drugged, beaten, and daily forced to endure sexual assault by wealthy, flesh-hungry men up to 20, 30, 40 or more times a day, and are given only enough food, shelter, and rest to keep you alive enough to keep the customers happy. And if you don’t keep the customers happy, you will be denied even those essentials for a few days, just to teach you that you no longer have the human right to choose anything other than surrender to the will of the money-wielding monster who longs to take you, break you, and discard you for a few moments of twisted pleasure.
DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.
Sounds like Hell to me!
And human trafficking is happening in shocking numbers every day.
All around the world.
Including in various forms throughout the United States – “The land of the free and the home of the brave.”
In Louisiana.
I don’t yet know how God is going to use me in this fight, but I am answering His call. I will not stand on the sidelines, knowing innocent lives are being ravaged by demons in the flesh. I have to fight back. I am praying God will show me where He can best use my gifts to bring hope, healing, freedom, and justice in response to this unspeakable atrocity.
Here are some of the organizations I am prayerfully investigating:
http://ccatcoalition.web.aplus.net/
www.tradethemovie.com/get_involved.html
Is God calling you to join the fight against Hell on earth?
Aug 13 2009
Man up!
If you have been keeping up with my blog, Facebook, or Twitter posts, you know that the time is now to get registered to join our Baton Rouge Men’s Fraternity group. I’ll keep this one short and to the point. Robert Lewis (founder of Men’s Frat) lists four elements that characterize the life of a real man.
A Real Man…
Rejects Passivity
Accepts Responsibility
Leads Courageously
Expects God’s Greater Reward
So, how are you doing on your quest for authentic manhood? If you could use some help, or if you would like to be a part of helping others on their quest, click on the Men’s Frat tab at the top of the page. There you can learn more about our group, register to join us, or get to the national website where you can find a group meeting in your area. May God bless you richly on your quest to man up!
Jul 22 2009
Men – Prepare for Launch!
Are you a man looking for more out of life?
Are you a guy who is tired of relationship difficulties or a lack of fulfillment or purpose?
Are you ready to finally move beyond the baggage of your past and move into the future you’ve always imagined, but never really dreamed was possible?
Are you a husband who is struggling with how to get your marriage on track?
Are you a father who doesn’t know what went wrong with one or more of your kids, or you just feel intimidated as to how to lead them well?
Are you a man who feels you just aren’t living up to your potential, but don’t know how to break through your mediocrity barrier?
Would you like the opportunity to mentor some younger men?
Would you appreciate the guidance of an experienced mentor in your life?
Would you love to be able to say you’ve got it all together, but you know that would be far from the truth?
If you answered YES to any of the above questions, I would urge you to look into Men’s Fraternity. For more information about our Baton Rouge Group, to find a group in your area, or just to find out more about Men’s Frat, click on the “Men’s Fraternity” page listed in the right-hand column of my website.
Jun 20 2009
Do You Know This Man?
Thanks so much to Trey Morgan for sharing this one with the blogosphere!
Jun 11 2009
Tee-Ball Flashbacks
My son had his first tee-ball practice last night. The coach really seemed to do well connecting with the kids and bringing out their best in this new activity. I was proud of Shep’s attitude and effort. Even though he clearly got hot and tired (summer sports in South Louisiana can be grueling), he stayed fairly focused on the practice activity and didn’t give up. He made some great stops in the field, and his coachability at the plate allowed his batting to improve immediately. Hitting and throwing obviously didn’t come naturally to him, but despite appearing somewhat awkward, he kept his spirits up and went for it.
Watching him out there on the baseball field, especially up at the plate, really brought flashbacks from my own childhood. Some were good. I remember how much I revered my tee-ball coach, Blake. Just putting on a uniform and being part of a time was somehow magical. It was a great feeling to make a good play in the field, or get a solid hit. I still remember how much I loved getting my complimentary drink from the concession stand after games, and ordering what all the coolest guys drank – a “suicide” (mixture of everything from the fountain – YUCK).
Most of my memories of childhood and youth athletic activity are not so warm and fuzzy. I always seemed to be so uncoordinated and unsure. I wasn’t exactly the kid the team captains were fighting over for team membership at recess. Good or bad, right or wrong, basic athletic ability seems to be so tied to masculinity in our culture, beginning early in boyhood. You can imagine how I felt on the field or court or recess parking lot.
Back to today and fatherhood. It really doesn’t matter to me if my son is any kind of athlete or takes a shining to any particular sport or activity. I really just want to give him my best as a father. And it has really hit me in a very powerful, tangible way – giving my best as a father means proactively doing what I can to help Shep learn to hit a ball off a tee, effectively catch a baseball and a football, confidently throw a baseball and a football with reasonable accuracy, learn basic basketball handling skills, and generally develop some basic athletic skills. It isn’t about making a particular athlete out of him, or insisting he measure up to some ball-handling standard to make me feel good as a Dad. It’s about doing my part to make sure he has the opportunity to develop some basic “male” competencies, so he can do with them whatever he wants to do.
In short, I have decided part of my job as Dad is to teach my son how to hold his own in athletics, and let him decide where and how to use these abilities. A daunting task for a Dad who isn’t particularly athletic. But no more hiding in the bushes, right? Seems like a great realm to practice the four qualities of authentic masculinity, according to Robert Lewis and Men’s Fraternity:
1. Reject Passivity 2. Accept Responsibility 3. Lead Courageously 4. Expect God’s Greater Reward
What about other Dads out there? How have you approached athletics and physical skills with your sons and daughters? What do you believe you have done well? Where do you believe you could have done better? Where did you learn those skills when you were growing up?
May 29 2009
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
I have been blessed with good friends throughout my entire life, although there has been a natural ebb and flow as to which friends have been closest along the way. New friends come along. Some old friends stay close, while others somehow fade away. Facebook comes along, allowing me to rekindle friendships with the brothers of week-long friends from VBS at my grandparents’ church when I was in pre-kindergarten, if I so desire.
Okay, not all “friends” are created equal, especially in the techno-communication world in which we live today. But real friends – those brothers with whom I can share the good, the bad, and the ugly of our lives – make a profound difference in my journey. Whether our primary point of connection comes from church, work, Men’s Fraternity, neighborhood, or other fellowship, these are the guys who help me live up to my best. And I really want to live up to my best.
Just a few months ago, a friend of mine sent me a G-mail instant message that sparked a dialogue that simply couldn’t be resolved via such an impersonal format. (I believe the topic was, “What is the nature of the Trinity?” Light stuff, right?) We decided Raising Cane’s (home of the best chicken fingers and dipping sauce on the planet – sorry Guthrie’s lovers from Tuscaloosa) was a much better place of enlightenment. As we left, we talked about how much we enjoy sharing meaningful conversation, and that we should get together more often. He half-jokingly said we could start getting together every week at the same time for coffee and someday be like the old men who have clearly been sharing a weekly coffee fellowship for decades.
Thankfully, his comment stayed with both of us, and within a couple weeks we had decided on a time for coffee that we thought could become regular. A couple of months later, we are now part of the regular Friday morning crowd at our favorite caffeine-ery, and have now added a third member to our fellowship. The “new guy” is actually the friend who connected the other two of us in the first place.
I share all of this to simply say this. There really is nothing quite like knowing I have a true brother or two that I will be seeing each week, with no agenda, but the simple freedom to be my self and share what is on my mind, be it serious, silly, exciting, or mundane. Have a drink or two, share some laughs, wrestle with a few matters of faith and family, witness a bit of light mayhem in the establishment, whatever. Once upon a time, I remember a song along these lines that became more than a little popular…
How have your most meaningful friendships been built? How are you a different person because of your friendships?
Dr. Roger D. Butner