Click here to view the embedded video.

Now watch this video…

Click here to view the embedded video.

I dare you to watch the first one again now.

Maybe you’re not an LSU fan, so it’s easy to dismiss.  And perhaps you genuinely don’t care about football.  This pair of videos kicked me in the teeth.  More importantly and to the point, my heart is convicted.  Thanks to my friend, Joey, for sharing these with me.  Pray for me, as I pray for you to be set free of the idols in our lives.  As far as I know, I will still be watching the big game on November 5 and cheering for the LSU Tigers.  Nothing wrong with that.  But I want to be totally willing to do something else with my time if the Holy Spirit calls me elsewhere.  And I don’t need to be worshiping LSU or Coach Miles or the defense or the offense or the “Honey Badger” or any of that as I watch the game.  As Joey so eloquently and succinctly put it – “GEAUX JESUS!”  Thanks again, Joe!

I have always loved this classic song by the Byrds, inspired by Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about stress, demands, busyness, self-discipline, entertainment, enjoyment of life and family and work and play, and the intersection of these things.  (Yes, there are always lots of wheels turning inside my noggin.  It’s like a funhouse in here – trust me!)  Today I find myself especially considering the role of electronic gadgetry in the midst of this swirling mix.  I got an i-Phone a couple months or so ago, primarily because there is an app for my online scheduling system, and I hoped it would improve my business efficiency.  Well, it has certainly done that.  My scheduling process has never been smoother for me or my clients!  In addition, I have found this little gizmo to be an immensely helpful tool in many ways – from helping me navigate trips to boosting my enjoyment of amateur photography to assisting me in organizing my overall schedule to providing a handy-dandy light to navigate the toy-infested waters of my son’s room for a late night kiss on his cheek before going to bed.  But the impact on my life doesn’t stop there.  Consider also…

Words With Friends and the Facebook app and just how easy it is now to text like a maniac.  With such powerful distractions just a slide and a tap, tap, tap away, it is easy for my attention, my mind, my spirit, and my life to get seriously out of balance.  Not good.  And I’m a 37 year old man with the Holy Spirit, years of walking with Christ and attempting to live in surrender to the Father’s will, and even a doctorate in studying the role of mass media in family life all to assist me in making wise choices.  Imagine the impact on the fourteen year olds!

And this is not to mention the place of the Wii, XBox, Playstation, laptop computer, internet itself, i-Pad, Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, etc.  And I shudder to consider this new technology with its unprecedented implications.

My point is this.  As parents – as adults – we need to live in view of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  You know, while we’re at it, let’s go ahead and live in view of all of chapter 3, and might as well throw in Romans 12 for good measure!  All very difficult to do when I am giving my best to an electronic idol.  Ouch, did I really just post that on my website?!!  Our kids need us to be sober-minded, well-balanced guides to show them how to live rightly and humbly before God.  How are we doing?

In conjunction with my Parenting 101 interview on WAFB on January 25, here are my basic thoughts regarding co-sleeping, which has been in the news of late.  I will expand on the post as I have more time and energy, hopefully tomorrow.  My Dad is in serious condition in the hospital, I have had a very long day of fairly intense work with clients in therapy, found out a dear friend’s daughter killed her self this weekend, and I am fried.  But I will be honoring my commitment to bring a positive word of guidance to the parent-viewers of WAFB tomorrow morning, and I wanted to have this available on line for anyone who wanted to reference it after the interview…

When I was at WAFB’s news studio with my son’s Cub Scout pack on Saturday, I saw the piece on co-sleeping, and I simply MUST respond in Parenting 101!  The families I saw who were interviewed were not parents of infants – these were “big kids.”

- I recommend making appropriate sleeping arrangements for children outside of the parents’ bed from the beginning.

- I recommend this much more strongly after the age of 2.

- I have three different concerns regarding co-sleeping, and the problems I see that can be tied up in this arrangement:

1. Children call the shots. I recognize there are some folks who are very intentional about co-sleeping, and it isn’t driven by the kids, but by the purposeful choice of the parents.  Fine.  But with so many families that fall into a regular, extended practice of co-sleeping, it is because the children insist on it in one way or another, and the parents do whatever their kids want.  Kids need parents to be in charge, regardless of what they think they need!

2. Family revolves around children. I believe family life is actually healthiest for our children when it revolves around the husband and wife relationship, not the children.  Of course we should nurture our children, cultivate healthy attachments with them, and work to guide them with as much personalized, hands-on leadership as possible.  But as our children move through and emerge from toddlerhood, they need to realize that neither the world nor their family revolves around them.  Orienting our lives and homes around our kids may feel good now, but it can really train them to believe that this world is here to serve them, rather than vice versa.

3. Where’s the marital intimacy? Seriously, not only how are husband and wife able to enjoy regular, spontaneous sexual intimacy, but how about making time for conversational and non-sexual physical intimacy?  Family cuddling time is great, and there is an important time and place for it.  But if that time and place is Mom and Dad’s bedtime, Mom and Dad can slowly (or quickly) forget about being spouses and lovers, in place of their child-centered roles as co-parents.

If you would like to get a much fuller perspective from a much more seasoned and widely respected expert, buy this book.  I DARE you to read it cover to cover with an open mind!

So, how about you?  What is your perspective on “co-sleeping?”  What are your questions or concerns?  If you are an advocate, why?  Share your thoughts with us, and let’s talk about it.

Great article from today’s Greater Baton Rouge Business Report!

And if you want some practical tips on cutting down screen time in your household, check out this great website / organization.

(Thanks to WAFB Channel 9 for inviting me to share this message with their viewers!)

Click here to watch WAFB bullying interview with Dr. Butner

Q. Is bullying becoming a worse problem in our society today?  If so, why?

A. YES!  It is clearly becoming a growing epidemic among us.  I believe the most significant contributing factor is the growing number of communication channels available that allow us to send powerful messages immediately, without taking time to think through our emotion or impulse.  There are two reasons this has given rise to more bullying behavior.  First, such digital communication is viral.  One message sent can quickly be spread to mass numbers of people in ways that were unimaginable to us back when I was a teen in the 80s and early 90s.  Second, such communication channels give an illusion of safe distance where it becomes easy to think of the message simply as fun comments, and not as a direct assault on a real live person.  As we become increasing consumers of digital communication, we will continue to see a rise in bullying, particularly cyber-bullying.

Q. What can we do about this?

A. Parents, teachers, coaches, school administrators, pastors, scout leaders, and the like must commit to a no-tolerance stand against any type of bullying behavior.  In addition to physically aggressive behavior and threatening messages, this includes hurtful name-calling, manipulative pressure tactics, deliberate exclusion and ridicule, etc.  Children and youth need to learn from an early age that the adult leaders of their community are standing together against such foolishness, thoughtlessness, and cruelty.

A. Parents can contact your school administration to find out what is in place to monitor and respond to bullying.  Challenge your school to be proactive and effective in their approach.

A. Parents need to take time to clearly teach and coach our kids in respectful behavior toward others, including face to face, phone conversation, texting, and online formats.  Don’t assume your kids will do the right thing.  Train them to do the right thing!

A. We must watch our own words and actions carefully.  For example, what message are you sending your kids when you scream and cuss at players, coaches, and officials during a football game that isn’t playing out to your liking?  How do you treat other drivers during traffic?  What kind of snarky comments and “likes” are you posting on your own Facebook page?  Any time we use our words and actions to tear down others, we are essentially giving our kids permission to be bullies.

A. Teach victims to respond calmly, rather than reacting emotionally.  Emotional reactions typically “fuel the fire” of bullies, bringing on more of the unwanted behavior.

A. Help victims find genuine strength and self-worth in their abilities and your love.

Q. What are some signs that your child might be the victim of bullying?

A. Sudden lack of interest in social activities.

A. Sudden change in Facebook/MySpace activity (You ARE keeping an eye on your teen’s Facebook/MySpace activity, AREN’T YOU?!!)

A. Lashing out toward siblings, pets, property, etc.

For much more guidance, information, resources, etc, check out Bullying.org

Book Recommendation: “The Wounded Spirit” by Frank Peretti

But don’t burn a Qu’ran.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I just found out about this book and author yesterday, so I have not yet read it.  However, she has my attention, and I want to bring her to yours.  Here is her website. I will keep you posted on what I discover.  For now, here is the book summary:

“Based on the National Study of Youth and Religion—the same invaluable data as its predecessor, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers — Kenda Creasy Dean’s compelling new book, Almost Christian, investigates why American teenagers are at once so positive about Christianity and at the same time so apathetic about genuine religious practice.

In Soul Searching, Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton found that American teenagers have embraced a “Moralistic Therapeutic Deism”–a hodgepodge of banal, self-serving, feel-good beliefs that bears little resemblance to traditional Christianity. But far from faulting teens, Dean places the blame for this theological watering down squarely on the churches themselves. Instead of proclaiming a God who calls believers to lives of love, service and sacrifice, churches offer instead a bargain religion, easy to use, easy to forget, offering little and demanding less. But what is to be done? In order to produce ardent young Christians, Dean argues, churches must rediscover their sense of mission and model an understanding of being Christian as not something you do for yourself, but something that calls you to share God’s love, in word and deed, with others. Dean found that the most committed young Christians shared four important traits: they could tell a personal and powerful story about God; they belonged to a significant faith community; they exhibited a sense of vocation; and they possessed a profound sense of hope. Based on these findings, Dean proposes an approach to Christian education that places the idea of mission at its core and offers a wealth of concrete suggestions for inspiring teens to live more authentically engaged Christian lives.

Persuasively and accessibly written, Almost Christian is a wake up call no one concerned about the future of Christianity in America can afford to ignore.”

I know.  For those of you who have been following me on Twitter and/or Facebook, you realize this statement comes near apostasy for me.  But what you may not realize is that I grew up in Little Rock, AR, home of Jennings Osborne and family.  Click here to get a visual tour of the world record home Christmas lights display (year after year after year) that truly makes Clark’s efforts look about as bright as a matchstick at dusk.

Reading the account on the Osborne website paints the neighbors as Grinches and themselves as altruistic. I’ll take the middle ground.  It was truly something breathtaking to behold, but the traffic was an absolute nightmare, and I don’t even want to imagine being a next-door neighbor to the Osborne compound on Cantrell.

Between viewing Christmas Vacation last night, reflecting on the otherworldly light spectacle that grew exponentially for years on end at the Jennings Osborne compound, and reading Trey Morgan’s post this morning, I have been thinking about how over the top we can go about things that have such little eternal value.  Can you imagine a world in which followers of Christ were as passionate about living in the Way of the Kingdom of Heaven as we can be about decorating for Christmas, or cheering for our favorite athletics team, or watching entertaining movies, or posting stuff on Facebook that gets lots of comments, or generally eating, drinking, and being merry?  Sorry, John Lennon – that’s the world I want to imagine!

Here’s to the prophets of living on fire for Christ today – Shane Claiborne and Francis Chan and John Eldredge and Dallas Willard and Richard Foster and Eugene Peterson and…  Who else would you put on this list?

Mmmmmm!  Talk about a smooth sipping cold one!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your loved ones.

May your day be certified Tofurky & Gravy Soda Free!

Dr B