Sorry about the “S-word” in that video, but he just nailed this issue, so I’m sharing it.  This will be short and sweet…

I am “on” my iPhone too much.  Facebooking mostly.  But also texting, taking silly pictures, and just looking for stuff.  This needs to change.  I am missing out on life.  I am missing out on my wife.  This is ridiculous!  So, here’s the plan, at least as a starting point.

After 9pm, the iPhone goes to the charger and stays outta my hands.  And the one I’m really wrestling with is this one – Don’t get on Facebook unless I have taken the time to either write a meaningful blog post for the day or read something meaningful from a book for at least half an hour.  I don’t want to get legalistic about it.  Believe me – I know what an epic fail that path is for actually solving any kind of heart issues.  Been there, done that.  But I need structure, and this thing needs turning around.  My wife tells me I share too much on Facebook.  True.  Maybe this post is too much.  But I’m thinking some of you can relate and could use an encouragement and a helpful idea.  And you may start finding some helpful stuff on my website again soon.  : ]

#NeedFreedom

ScreamFree Marriage

Calming Down, Growing Up
and Getting Closer

By Hal Edward Runkel
with Jenny Runkel

Now Available Nationwide!

Order An Autographed Copy Now - Help Your Marriage and Help Us Reach Others!

I just discovered these great resources today from Ron Deal and Successful Stepfamilies.  While I have not read them yet, I have read Ron’s first book, The Smart Stepfamily, and it is fantastic.  I have also had the pleasure of hearing him present a message live at a conference, as well as sharing a conversation with him over a meal afterward.  He was the real deal then, and he seems to be growing in his wisdom and effectiveness in blessing and guiding stepfamilies over the years as God continues to guide his steps.  If you need guidance through the rough waters of stepfamily and remarriage life, listen to Ron.  He has something worth hearing.

I just found out about this book and author yesterday, so I have not yet read it.  However, she has my attention, and I want to bring her to yours.  Here is her website. I will keep you posted on what I discover.  For now, here is the book summary:

“Based on the National Study of Youth and Religion—the same invaluable data as its predecessor, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers — Kenda Creasy Dean’s compelling new book, Almost Christian, investigates why American teenagers are at once so positive about Christianity and at the same time so apathetic about genuine religious practice.

In Soul Searching, Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton found that American teenagers have embraced a “Moralistic Therapeutic Deism”–a hodgepodge of banal, self-serving, feel-good beliefs that bears little resemblance to traditional Christianity. But far from faulting teens, Dean places the blame for this theological watering down squarely on the churches themselves. Instead of proclaiming a God who calls believers to lives of love, service and sacrifice, churches offer instead a bargain religion, easy to use, easy to forget, offering little and demanding less. But what is to be done? In order to produce ardent young Christians, Dean argues, churches must rediscover their sense of mission and model an understanding of being Christian as not something you do for yourself, but something that calls you to share God’s love, in word and deed, with others. Dean found that the most committed young Christians shared four important traits: they could tell a personal and powerful story about God; they belonged to a significant faith community; they exhibited a sense of vocation; and they possessed a profound sense of hope. Based on these findings, Dean proposes an approach to Christian education that places the idea of mission at its core and offers a wealth of concrete suggestions for inspiring teens to live more authentically engaged Christian lives.

Persuasively and accessibly written, Almost Christian is a wake up call no one concerned about the future of Christianity in America can afford to ignore.”

So, I just heard about Scott Ginsberg’s (The Nametag Guy) new book, “-able: 35 Strategies for Increasing the Probability of Success in Business and in Life.” And with it, he is challenging folks like me to create a new word with an -able suffix, and explain to you how this quality can increase your probability of success in business and in life.  Okay, Scott, I’ll bite…

Have you ever found yourself leaving a conversation with someone thinking, “Wow!  I can’t believe how much I just shared with him!  And it really felt good to unload and share that stuff.”  Or, “I love talking with her.  It just feels so safe to open up and be real.  I guess I just don’t get that opportunity every day.”  If you have ever had the pleasure of spending time with Eddie Parish or Murphy Toerner or Kevin McKee, you know what I mean.  (Words cannot express my gratitude for the impact these rare people have had in my life.)  What is it about these people that gives us such a sense of security and ease to share our inner worlds with them?

They are Revealable.

They have that amazing blend of interest, respect, compassion, and integrity that invites you to reveal your true self and true experience, knowing it is safe to do so.  Remember the theme song from the 80′s hit series, Cheers?  That song, along with the show, resonated with so many millions because we all long for relational places and spaces where we will be eagerly anticipated, respectfully received, and invited to unload our burdens without fear of scorn, rejection, or punishment.

Yes, as a licensed therapist, it is an important part of my job to be a Revealable presence in the lives of my clients.  But you don’t have to be a therapist to be Revealable.  And the more Revealable you become, the more people will be drawn to you in all areas of life, including your business.  Think about it.  When you are struggling or burdened or simply feeling alone, what do you want most?  Is it not for someone to notice you and listen to you without judgment?  And if that is the deep need of your heart, it stands to reason it is just as important to the next person with whom you will interact.  Jesus taught us the Golden Rule is to treat others the way we want to be treated.  Not only is this an abiding spiritual truth that leads to greater purpose, peace, and blessing, it is also the fundamental principle for good customer service in any business.

So before you get down to the bottom line, take the time to show yourself as a Revealable person to your customers, associates, neighbors, family, friends, and would-be clientele.  They will be so glad you did, and so will you!  But be forewarned - if you become Revealable, you will be in demand and will be sought out by an increasing number of folks who are longing for what you have to offer.  Are you sure you’re ready for that?

Just wanted to let you know I have updated my “CHALLENGES” page – drawn directly from my posts on Twitter (to Facebook).  May you be blessed by the questions, challenges, and ponderings you discover here.  I would be grateful for your prayers as I consider taking steps toward publishing this work in a book.

With Hope in Him,

Roger

If you are looking for an affordable opportunity to learn great parenting insights and skills in an ongoing fellowship of other parents on the growth journey, and you live in the Baton Rouge area, look no further!

Parenting By The Book

For the first installment in the series on parenting your kids toward character development, let’s begin with a virtue which has been in short supply for some time now in American culture.  Ironically, the ongoing economic recession should provide the perfect context in which parents can lead our kids in cultivating this critical life skill.

Centuries ago, a man of seasoned wisdom and character penned the following words to a young man he was privileged to mentor:

“But godliness with contentment is great gain.  For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.”  (1 Timothy 5:6-7)

Well said, Paul!

We Americans live in a time and place where one of the most commonly used indicators to assess the well-being of our nation is how much stuff we are buying.  “Buy more stuff!  Boost the economy.  Keep our nation strong.  Besides, more is always better.  I mean, you aren’t really content with that old stuff you’ve already got, are you?  You need more.  You need new and improved.  Consume.  Covet.  Contentment will never get you ahead, and it sure won’t help our recession!  Happiness waits at the Stuff-Mart.  All you really need is lots more stuff.”

Thanks to the gang at VeggieTales for those last two lines from a fantastic video entitled, “Madame Blueberry.” For those with children between about 5 and 9, this will be a fun and very on-target way to help your children cultivate the character of contentment.  While you’re at it, you might as well throw “King George and the Ducky” into the mix.  While these two videos were intentionally created to illustrate the importance of contentment to youngsters, there are plenty of other entertainment choices that can be utilized in your character-building arsenal.

So many of the popular video/computer/online games involve a continual pursuit of accumulating more stuff – be it points or powers or coins or whatever.  What a great opportunity to ask your kids how they will know when they have enough and what it feels like to continually believe they do not yet have enough!  You may be amazed at the conversations this opens up with your teenager.  Give it a shot.  Keep at it.  In fact, working hard with your teen or pre-teen now on cultivating the discipline of deep contentment can actually go a long way toward keeping them from such pitfalls as pornography, addiction, and crime.

And, despite the ages of your kids, entertainment selections need not be all about the virtue of contentment (or whichever virtue is your goal) to prove useful as a tool of engagement and growth.  Pay attention to the movies and shows they are watching.  Okay, important side note.  I really hope you are paying attention to the movies and shows they are watching, already, because these selections are molding your children.  Now, as I was saying – look for scenes, situations, or characters in the story that demonstrate the significance of living with contentment.  Keep in mind, the virtue can be just as powerfully illustrated by showing its presence or its absence in a given situation or individual or group.

Books offer another excellent opportunity for developing character.  Take some time to look around at a bookstore or online.  Be intentional.  Buy a couple of books that specifically illustrate the power of contentment at an age-appropriate level.  Challenge older kids to write a book report.

You may want to begin setting the stage for Christmas early this year, by beginning to talk with your kids about working together to find someone else whose lives you want to bless with gifts this year.  Give them a chance to practice a hands-on lesson in contentment, sacrifice, and service – all at the same time.  And if you want to discover ways to develop other such virtues and character goals, keep checking back here for further installments in this series over the next couple of weeks.

Time to sign off.  I think they’re running some great deals on Overstock.com…

(Video intros/previews are available on both links.)

“The Furious Longing of God” by Brennan Manning

“Longing for God: Seven Paths of Christian Devotion” by Richard J. Foster and Gayle D. Beebe