Dec 01 2009
Just wanted to let you know I have updated my “CHALLENGES” page – drawn directly from my posts on Twitter (to Facebook). May you be blessed by the questions, challenges, and ponderings you discover here. I would be grateful for your prayers as I consider taking steps toward publishing this work in a book.
With Hope in Him,
Roger
Sep 10 2009
If you are looking for an affordable opportunity to learn great parenting insights and skills in an ongoing fellowship of other parents on the growth journey, and you live in the Baton Rouge area, look no further!
Aug 25 2009
For the first installment in the series on parenting your kids toward character development, let’s begin with a virtue which has been in short supply for some time now in American culture. Ironically, the ongoing economic recession should provide the perfect context in which parents can lead our kids in cultivating this critical life skill.
Centuries ago, a man of seasoned wisdom and character penned the following words to a young man he was privileged to mentor:
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” (1 Timothy 5:6-7)
Well said, Paul!
We Americans live in a time and place where one of the most commonly used indicators to assess the well-being of our nation is how much stuff we are buying. “Buy more stuff! Boost the economy. Keep our nation strong. Besides, more is always better. I mean, you aren’t really content with that old stuff you’ve already got, are you? You need more. You need new and improved. Consume. Covet. Contentment will never get you ahead, and it sure won’t help our recession! Happiness waits at the Stuff-Mart. All you really need is lots more stuff.”
Thanks to the gang at VeggieTales for those last two lines from a fantastic video entitled, “Madame Blueberry.” For those with children between about 5 and 9, this will be a fun and very on-target way to help your children cultivate the character of contentment. While you’re at it, you might as well throw “King George and the Ducky” into the mix. While these two videos were intentionally created to illustrate the importance of contentment to youngsters, there are plenty of other entertainment choices that can be utilized in your character-building arsenal.
So many of the popular video/computer/online games involve a continual pursuit of accumulating more stuff – be it points or powers or coins or whatever. What a great opportunity to ask your kids how they will know when they have enough and what it feels like to continually believe they do not yet have enough! You may be amazed at the conversations this opens up with your teenager. Give it a shot. Keep at it. In fact, working hard with your teen or pre-teen now on cultivating the discipline of deep contentment can actually go a long way toward keeping them from such pitfalls as pornography, addiction, and crime.
And, despite the ages of your kids, entertainment selections need not be all about the virtue of contentment (or whichever virtue is your goal) to prove useful as a tool of engagement and growth. Pay attention to the movies and shows they are watching. Okay, important side note. I really hope you are paying attention to the movies and shows they are watching, already, because these selections are molding your children. Now, as I was saying – look for scenes, situations, or characters in the story that demonstrate the significance of living with contentment. Keep in mind, the virtue can be just as powerfully illustrated by showing its presence or its absence in a given situation or individual or group.
Books offer another excellent opportunity for developing character. Take some time to look around at a bookstore or online. Be intentional. Buy a couple of books that specifically illustrate the power of contentment at an age-appropriate level. Challenge older kids to write a book report.
You may want to begin setting the stage for Christmas early this year, by beginning to talk with your kids about working together to find someone else whose lives you want to bless with gifts this year. Give them a chance to practice a hands-on lesson in contentment, sacrifice, and service – all at the same time. And if you want to discover ways to develop other such virtues and character goals, keep checking back here for further installments in this series over the next couple of weeks.
Time to sign off. I think they’re running some great deals on Overstock.com…
May 02 2009
I haven’t yet read this book, but I hope to do so very soon. Thanks to John Dobbs for sharing this book review and bringing the book to my attention. The book – “The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner’s Semester at America’s Holiest University” by Kevin Roose.
Apr 01 2009
Two of my favorite authors and fellow Christ-followers have just released new books. I am eager to read them both, whenever I have the space in my budget and reading schedule. Notice the striking similarity of the titles. I wonder what God is up to with these guys? Last time I experienced this was when I purchased Foster’s book, “Life with God” and Eldredge’s “Walking with God” at the same time as they had both just been released. And I was richly blessed by the overlapping experience.
(Video intros/previews are available on both links.)
“The Furious Longing of God” by Brennan Manning
“Longing for God: Seven Paths of Christian Devotion” by Richard J. Foster and Gayle D. Beebe
Mar 28 2009
Feb 25 2009
Just a quick post today to share with you several related things that have crossed my path recently.
As I write this, I have not yet seen the film, “Slum Dog Millionaire.” However, I intend to remedy that ASAP. Numerous people in whom I have high respect have told me this is a must-see film, especially for Christians in the comfort zone of middle/upper class America. As soon as I watch the movie, I will share my review with you here.
A teenage client shared this song (“Stand Up” by the Flobots) with me the other day. A bit of rough language, but a challenging confrontation to the Western Christian affluent comfort zone.
- 
My friend, Blaine (who regretably has stopped posting to his once-provocative blog) very enthusiastically shared the message of “Irresistible Revolution” by Shane Claiborne with me, and how he has been sharing this message with the kids in his youth group. I look forward to reading it.
A blog/Facebook friend shared this gem with me about a guy in Venezuela who has been using music to transform the lives of the kids there.
Feb 15 2009
I often refer to myself as a “resource broker.” I am passionate about helping people connect with the best resources to improve their lives and experience transforming peace, purpose, and passion. Whether it is a movie, a website, a local resource, a book, or who-knows-what-else, you are very likely to get a resource recommendation from me if you ask me for guidance with some life issue. I believe in solving problems from multiple angles. This approach seems to bring deeper, more lasting results.
Here is a list of some of the books that have made the greatest impact in my life. They have challenged, encouraged, and enlightened me in my perspectives, actions, and emotional/relational/spiritual growth. And I am delighted to share them with you. They are listed in the order in which they came to mind, which does not represent any particular ranking of value. I have linked each of them to addall.com, because I have found it to be the best source for getting the best price on books. Trust me, just check it out. However, for reviews on the books, you may want to check out amazon or Christianbook.
1. 
“The Shack” by William P. Young - I know, I know. This one was all the buzz in 2008. You have likely heard both strong endorsements and strong warnings regarding this book. I recommend the same for this one as I did for “The DaVinci Code” back when it was shaking up the world – read it for yourself. The Shack is certainly not a sound theological treatise. And I could find no evidence that it was intended to be interpreted as such. What it did for me was remind me with a refreshing new illustration of the relational nature of God and the depth of his love and grace for each one of us.
2. 
“A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix” by Edwin R. Friedman - If you have been following my blog for a while, you have heard about this one before. Incredible book! This one shook up and reshaped my paradigm about people like nothing I have ever read. It is written on a rather intellectual level, and is certainly not a light read. I genuinely believe Friedman understood the dynamics of people and relationships better than anyone since Jesus walked the planet (not that his insight rivaled that of Jesus – just better than anyone else’s). Okay, that’s a seriously bold claim. Feel free to challenge it. Who do you think deserves that title?
3. 
“Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: Unleash a Revolution in Your Life in Christ” by Peter Scazzero - I urge you to read this book and to share it with your church leaders. Then urge them to attend one of Scazzero’s church leaders’ workshops.
4. 
“The Dip: A Little Book that Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)” by Seth Godin- A very short, easy read that packs a whallop by one of today’s premier business coaches.
5. 
“The Ragamuffin Gospel” by Brennan Manning - This one probably helped me get a healthy perspective of my relationship with God better than anything else I have ever read. I find Manning’s writing very readable and refreshing.
6. 
“Hurt: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers” by Chap Clark - You will NOT enjoy reading this book! It paints a very dark and ugly picture of the world in which teenagers find themselves today. However, if you have teenagers or have a passion for teenagers, you really should read it. Follow it up with “Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a MySpace World” by Chap and Dee Clark for a practical, encouraging guide on how to be part of the solution.
7. 
“ScreamFree Parenting: Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool” by Hal Edward Runkel - If you have had a conversation with me about parenting, or read my blog for any length of time, you know how highly I regard this one. Best book on parenting ever written (until mine hits the shelves, of course)! Just do a search on my website with the term “ScreamFree” to see what I think. You can also click on the link at the top right of my site to access the “Complete Parenting Revolution” (CPR) kit from ScreamFree – a great comprehensive resource.
8. 
“Parenting by the Book: Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child” by John Rosemond - I have been a Rosemond fan for years. His well-grounded, no-nonsense, authoritative advice on raising children is first rate. While I recommend all of his books, I would place this one at the top of the list.
9. 
“Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth” by Richard J. Foster - Read Richard Foster’s work, and prepare to grow. Read it all. Read it slowly. Practice it in your life. Share it with others. Repeat process. Continue Reading »
Feb 04 2009
If you are anything like me, you want peace in your life. You probably want as much of it as you can get a hold of. Let’s face it. Life has a way of throwing a lot of potentially stressful stuff at us. Like you need me to tell you that, right?! How about finding some solutions to the stress epidemic? Today marks the first installment in a 10-part series on specific recommendations that will each bring greater peace to your life. They are not quick-fixes, mind you. But each one will make a clear difference in your life, decreasing your stress and increasing your peace.
1. Spend weekly time reading for personal growth. This reading could come from any number of sources. Good blogs that offer some real substance. Books by inspiring business or life coaches. Spiritual classics such as the Bible or other time-tested sources of real wisdom for life. Positive magazines that provide real life guidance. Books from the best-seller list (typically non-fiction, but some good fiction here and there can inspire us to grow, as well).
What makes reading such a great avenue of personal growth is that it allows you to learn from the wisdom of others. It is like channeling fresh streams of water into the lake of your life, so that you don’t become stagnant and dead. Good reading can truly be life-giving. Whatever your source of growth-oriented reading, there are three essential keys to utilizing reading to increase your peace.
First, look for something that is personally relevant. A book may be a huge bestseller, but if it isn’t personally relevant to you, it won’t make any significant difference in your life.
Second, commit to a regular reading time. This may require you to work toward greater self-discipline. If your level of self-discipline grows as a result of taking this first step toward greater peace, you will have received a rich blessing indeed. Whether your best time is early morning, lunchtime, evening, or bedtime, find a time that works for you and stick with it. It doesn’t have to be daily, but it does need to be at least weekly if you are to gain significant momentum from your reading. Remember, this is about increasing your peace. Not about stressing yourself out with rigid scheduling pressures.
Third, practice what you read. Read with an open mind and a willing spirit. And then respond to what you have read. Unless you take this third step, all the reading in the world becomes just reading for the sake of reading, without any real learning or growth.
So, what have been some of the most meaningful, inspiring reads in your life? What have you read that really did increase your peace? We would love to hear about it here, if you will simply click on the title of this post and leave your comment for the rest of us. I look forward to hearing from you.
By the way, among my most transforming reads from recent months are “Walking with God” by John Eldredge, “The Shack” by William P. Young, “The Dip” by Seth Godin, “A Failure of Nerve” by Edwin Friedman, and “Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a MySpace World” by Chap and Dee Clark.
Oct 28 2008
I know some of you have been curious as to the status of the book I began writing in February of 08, as a number of folks have asked. I am excited to bring you the latest update:
I have tabled my original book, of which I have written 2+ initial chapters. The more I wrote, the more I realized I was trying to write my magnum opus in my first book effort. There was just no way, at least at this season of my life, for me to complete a book with such a grand scope as I had envisioned. And that’s okay. Really. I have no regrets for the time, energy, prayer, and money I invested in that work. I learned a great deal in the process, regarding both my beliefs and the process of writing a book.
I am now writing the book which will be my first major publication. I am excited! I am energized! And I know this one is not only writable for me within the next year, but also springs directly from my passion and experience in one of the chief works to which God has called me – guiding adolescents and their parents to greater peace, wholeness, purpose, and healthy relationships with one another and with others. I am grateful to be at a place in my journey of growth, under the Lord’s leadership, where I can humbly and confidently declare myself to be gifted in this role. It is truly delightful to recognize one’s gifting from God, surrender to His leadership in sharing one’s gift for His glory and the betterment of His children, and to have daily opportunities to do so in ways that make a real difference. God never ceases to amaze me with His goodness!
And so, the working title of my first book is:
“Operation Adolescence! Parenting Teens with Calm, Confident Leadership”
And here is a very brief excerpt from my introduction, as it now reads:
“I really like teenagers. There. I said it. I seriously, sincerely, without reservation enjoy getting to know teens. I take genuine delight in honoring their invitation to enter their worlds by seeking first to understand them, and then doing what I can to help them make sense of their worlds and make the most of the lives they have been given.
Maybe I have the gene for it. My grandmother wrote a heartening poem entitled “Wager on the Teenager.” Perhaps it was my years of participation in summer camps that instilled in me an appreciation and reverence for the joy of seeing adolescents spread their wings and take flight. I like to think it is a calling. But who knows? Maybe I’m just nuts.
Whatever the origins, I find few satisfactions in the world so rewarding as the experience of connecting with an adolescent and his parents, and helping them connect with one another on the road to healing, purpose, joy, and personal responsibility. And that journey always begins with two core beliefs I hold passionately, which I will expand much further in the chapters to follow:
1. This teen really does want to live well.
2. As the parent(s) of this teen, you have what it takes to lead her/him well.”
It is too early as yet to speculate on a release date. I really should have a few chapters on my flash drive before I go there. I don’t even know which publishing house I will be pursuing or which door God will open in this regard (or if I will begin with the route of one of the numerous self-publishing options emerging in today’s book industry). What I do know is that I have it in me to write this book, and it is my heart’s desire to see it make its way into the hands of the many parents, teachers, youth ministers, coaches and others who have the desire to bless adolescents and a need for some sound guidance and encouragement to do it well. I will be grateful for your prayers, questions, comments, and challenges along the way.
With Hope in Him,
Roger
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Dr. Roger D. Butner