Sorry about the “S-word” in that video, but he just nailed this issue, so I’m sharing it.  This will be short and sweet…

I am “on” my iPhone too much.  Facebooking mostly.  But also texting, taking silly pictures, and just looking for stuff.  This needs to change.  I am missing out on life.  I am missing out on my wife.  This is ridiculous!  So, here’s the plan, at least as a starting point.

After 9pm, the iPhone goes to the charger and stays outta my hands.  And the one I’m really wrestling with is this one – Don’t get on Facebook unless I have taken the time to either write a meaningful blog post for the day or read something meaningful from a book for at least half an hour.  I don’t want to get legalistic about it.  Believe me – I know what an epic fail that path is for actually solving any kind of heart issues.  Been there, done that.  But I need structure, and this thing needs turning around.  My wife tells me I share too much on Facebook.  True.  Maybe this post is too much.  But I’m thinking some of you can relate and could use an encouragement and a helpful idea.  And you may start finding some helpful stuff on my website again soon.  : ]

#NeedFreedom

Great article from today’s Greater Baton Rouge Business Report!

And if you want some practical tips on cutting down screen time in your household, check out this great website / organization.

(Thanks to WAFB Channel 9 for inviting me to share this message with their viewers!)

Click here to watch WAFB bullying interview with Dr. Butner

Q. Is bullying becoming a worse problem in our society today?  If so, why?

A. YES!  It is clearly becoming a growing epidemic among us.  I believe the most significant contributing factor is the growing number of communication channels available that allow us to send powerful messages immediately, without taking time to think through our emotion or impulse.  There are two reasons this has given rise to more bullying behavior.  First, such digital communication is viral.  One message sent can quickly be spread to mass numbers of people in ways that were unimaginable to us back when I was a teen in the 80s and early 90s.  Second, such communication channels give an illusion of safe distance where it becomes easy to think of the message simply as fun comments, and not as a direct assault on a real live person.  As we become increasing consumers of digital communication, we will continue to see a rise in bullying, particularly cyber-bullying.

Q. What can we do about this?

A. Parents, teachers, coaches, school administrators, pastors, scout leaders, and the like must commit to a no-tolerance stand against any type of bullying behavior.  In addition to physically aggressive behavior and threatening messages, this includes hurtful name-calling, manipulative pressure tactics, deliberate exclusion and ridicule, etc.  Children and youth need to learn from an early age that the adult leaders of their community are standing together against such foolishness, thoughtlessness, and cruelty.

A. Parents can contact your school administration to find out what is in place to monitor and respond to bullying.  Challenge your school to be proactive and effective in their approach.

A. Parents need to take time to clearly teach and coach our kids in respectful behavior toward others, including face to face, phone conversation, texting, and online formats.  Don’t assume your kids will do the right thing.  Train them to do the right thing!

A. We must watch our own words and actions carefully.  For example, what message are you sending your kids when you scream and cuss at players, coaches, and officials during a football game that isn’t playing out to your liking?  How do you treat other drivers during traffic?  What kind of snarky comments and “likes” are you posting on your own Facebook page?  Any time we use our words and actions to tear down others, we are essentially giving our kids permission to be bullies.

A. Teach victims to respond calmly, rather than reacting emotionally.  Emotional reactions typically “fuel the fire” of bullies, bringing on more of the unwanted behavior.

A. Help victims find genuine strength and self-worth in their abilities and your love.

Q. What are some signs that your child might be the victim of bullying?

A. Sudden lack of interest in social activities.

A. Sudden change in Facebook/MySpace activity (You ARE keeping an eye on your teen’s Facebook/MySpace activity, AREN’T YOU?!!)

A. Lashing out toward siblings, pets, property, etc.

For much more guidance, information, resources, etc, check out Bullying.org

Book Recommendation: “The Wounded Spirit” by Frank Peretti

While it appears you are thrilled to have an access point to me via my new online “contact me” email form, rest assured I will not be reading your oh-so-clever messages inviting me to purchase your “VYAGGRA” or other similarly enticing items.

I fully realize you won’t be reading this, nor would you care if you could.  You’re a computer program designed by obnoxious charlatans.  But it somehow makes me feel better to say it.  See you in my spam/delete folder!

- The Human responsible for this blog

I just read this post today by my blogging buddy, Lantz Howard, and I thought it was well worth sharing.  Great stuff, Lantz!

I just wanted to take a moment to officially inquire what topics you would like to see me address in the coming year?  Spiritual issues?  Self-Injury?  Teen help?  Marital recommendations?  More lessons from Disney World?

What have you gained from your time spent on my blog?  What difference does it make in your life?

What holes have you seen in my blog that you would like to see me fill this year?

Thanks for taking time to be a part of the HopeForYourFamily community!  As always, I love getting your comments and feedback, and welcome the discussion.  Also, thanks to all who have linked and helped me get a rating of 4 on the official blogometer thingy.  I don’t really understand the ins and outs, but apparently this means my site is a hit!

May you be blessed with growth, humility, strength, peace, faith, love, and courage in 2010!

With Hope in Him,

Dr. Butner

And here are the rich words of wisdom I heard from God this morning, as I paused to seek fresh life from Him in the book of Proverbs (NCV):

“The wise say very little, and those with understanding stay calm.”  (17:27)

“What you say can mean life or death.  Those who speak with care will be rewarded.”  (18:21)

“People’s own foolishness ruins their lives, but in their minds they blame the LORD.”  (19:3)

“Being kind to the poor is like lending to the LORD; he will reward you for what you have done.  (19:17)

“Correct your children while there is still hope; do not let them destroy themselves.”  (19:18)

With Hope, Life, and Strength in Him,

Roger

Descartes wrote, ‘cogito, ergo sum’ (I think, therefore I am).  Roger is your motto “I blog, therefore I exist?”

I would love to shrug this off with a wisecrack and “put the guy in his place.”  But there is actually much truth in his comment.

I won’t try to speak for anyone but myself, although some of you may relate to this.  Yes, I really, really want to have something worthwhile to offer the world.  I want to know that my words make a difference for people.  I want to know that my thoughts are good thoughts – well founded and reasonable.  I want to be noticed.  I want to know that I matter – that my presence is meaningful to others.  And blogging offers a unique opportunity in this regard.

And, frankly, there is a very real part of me that craves the opportunity to share my thoughts and words in such a way that lends itself to positive feedback.  Strokes.  Affirmation.  Validation feels good, and I really enjoy receiving it.  And when you have a blog or appear on TV as an expert, you are well positioned for people to say, “Right on!  Well said.  Wish I’d have thought of that.”

But here’s the deal.  While that part of me is still very real and alive, it is diminishing.  Oh, I don’t think it will disappear anytime soon.  But it doesn’t have the same power to dictate my life as it once did.  And that feels like real growth to me.  Because it is real growth.  There is such great freedom in being able to tolerate people not liking me, or disagreeing with me, or just plain old ignoring me.  FREEDOM.

And so, yes, part of my motivation for blogging is to feel some sense of worth for my self.  And I also blog because I see so many people in such bondage in so many ways and in so many life places.  And if I have something to offer that can bring anyone closer to freedom, I’m going to offer it.  And blogging is a powerful way to do it.

By the way, if this post struck a nerve with you about blogging and your desire to make a difference, I encourage you to check out www.theobloggers.com.  Because I think the point of my post today is at the heart of their mission.  I am grateful and proud to be a TheoBlogger!

I am grateful for her willingness to share honestly with you from her life journey, somewhat nervous about her pulling back the veil and letting you see me and my marriage more fully, and eager to read her finished product. Stay tuned…