Scatterplot Aims at Men

And my fourth installment in the “Making the Most of Family Life” series, inspired by “The Screwtape Letters”:

–                    workaholic                            old workaholic

My dear young tempters,

 As I hope you will recall from our previous lessons, one of the keys to effectively ravaging the human family unit is Separation.  While any Separation of family members is always to be encouraged, you will find that the greatest benefit comes from separating husbands and fathers from the rest of their pack.  When subjecting themselves to the Enemy’s plan for family life, these men attempt to live up to a special commission as the primary defenders, commanders, and scouts for their units.  Fortunately for our cause, not only are the humans Selfish by nature, they are also Cowardly to the core!  Most of the male humans need little more than a well-timed occasional whisper in the ear to keep them from stepping up to such a demanding position.  Of course, much of the credit for the current neutralized state of the male goes to the members of our special task force for the confusion of masculinity, which has been doing a phenomenal job for decades.  Who could have predicted the payoff that would come from this small, but focused team of fiends?

 For those of you have not yet read “The Path Toward Human Male Extermination,” let us now review the points of strategic victory in this sphere of diabolical domination.  Believe it or not, the idea for this project was actually inspired by human achievement.  As the human era of the so-called “Industrial Revolution” began to unfold on earth, another revolution was birthed in Hell.  By carefully, yet powerfully, twisting humanity’s view of the masculine responsibility of family provision, men were soon convinced that their primary assignment was to provide physical sustenance to their wives and children.  The obvious result was that families were now left with no one to care for their spiritual provision.  Well, that isn’t entirely true.  Our forces of Darkness were glad to supply the two-legged animals with all the spiritual food they could stomach…all of it thoroughly tainted, of course!  (Surely you remember our last lesson on the delightful power of Entertainment.)

 Another prong in this strategy of male extermination is to take advantage of the loyal streak implanted in them by the Enemy.  Believing that their greatest duty is to “bring home the bacon,” (It’s so much fun helping them to create quaint phrases to describe foolish notions!) they can now be easily convinced that loyalty to their family, an instinct from the Enemy, is most appropriately shown through loyalty to their place of work.  With proper diligence, you can easily keep your male patients giving the best of their time, energy, and passion to their employers and co-workers, all the while keeping them convinced that they are showing intense devotion to their families by fulfilling their greatest calling as the “head of the household.”  Materialism, which has been greatly facilitated through Entertainment, is of tremendous benefit in this arena, particularly when you properly entice your patients with financial incentives such as overtime pay and extra-project bonuses.  For that matter, much could be said about the fun we have had harnessing their holiday season, which was once based on the detestable notions of love, joy, giving, and special reverence and worship of the Enemy himself.  As you must know, it now gleefully centers around Greed, Selfishness, and Entertainment.  The point is to convince them that they must give more and more of themselves to work, and in so doing they will somehow be giving themselves to their families.

 Finally, remember to use proper judgment in manipulating the passion of the human male.  It all depends on their natural level of passion, which of course varies from one to another, and even from time to time within the same individual.  For example, say your patient is a man that is naturally very passionate.  If he yields his passion to the will of the Enemy, much trouble will result.  Your job is to see that he invests his passions outside of his family.  Work, pastimes, sports, drink, women…the list goes on and on.  These diversions can typically be justified in his mind and actions by continually reminding him how much loyalty he is showing to his family by working hard in his job, and that he deserves to have his “needs” met, since he is doing so much to meet those of his wife and children.  For the love of wickedness, just don’t let him realize that what his family needs most is him! 

On the other hand, you may be assigned a man with low natural passion.  These men are often given to higher strength of logical reasoning, but that is for another day.  The point is that this patient should be prevented from connecting his spirit to anything or anyone at all.  He should be continually reminded that it is his lot in life to go to work, do his duty there for his family, then come home and rest, in order to go back to work again for his family.

 Whatever strategy is most befitting of the males under your care, always strive to keep them from investing themselves in their families.  Although a family without a husband and father at his originally assigned post is certainly an easy target, men that are alert, well armed, and given to the spiritual leadership, care, and protection of their families make for long years of tiring, and often unrewarding, labor.

 Your Adoring Instructor,


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