If you have not read my previous post, Marriage 1.0, I recommend doing so before you read this one. It will make much more sense that way.
“Please enter the command: ‘I Thought You Loved Me.exe’ and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.”
Ahhhhh…now that’s the kind of marital intimacy we all want so much, isn’t it? It ranks right up there with, “Please enter the command: ‘GET OFF MY BACK OR YOU WILL FIND OUT WHAT LOUD REALLY SOUNDS LIKE’ and make sure to simultaneously run Red Face 2.0 and Glare 5.5. If that application works as designed, Wife 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Peace and Quiet 3.2 and Dinner 4.5.” Wasn’t it the writer of Proverbs who said “The end justifies the means,” or was it Jesus or Paul, maybe?
Actually, you’ll not find that little nugget of worldly wisdom in the Bible, as it turns out to be very shallow and untrue. Wives, what do you really want most from your husbands, flowers and jewelry or the loving thoughtfulness that prompts these kinds of gifts? And do you want him to act this way out of guilt and fear, or out of a heart that is drawn to you with deep longing and passion? If your husband seems distant from you, try genuinely sharing your desire to be more connected, and ask him if you have been doing anything that leaves him wanting to pull away.
Husbands, is your objective really to get your wife to just shut up and leave you alone, or do you want her to trust and respect you enough that she doesn’t feel the need to badger you? If your wife seems to be criticizing or nagging you on a regular basis, try sincerely sharing your desire to have her trust and respect, and ask her if you have been doing anything that leaves her feeling discouraged with you.
Remember, you married a person, not a program! With the proper tactics and techniques, you may be able to coerce your spouse into acting a certain way with you. And if you are satisfied with being married to an android (one that is probably either resentful or afraid of you), go for it. But if you really want to enjoy the fruits of intimacy with another human being, you must be willing to walk the sometimes scary path of vulnerability. I hope you won’t settle for the shortcuts of manipulation. I hope you will take hold of courage, step out from behind your big bag of tricks, and share your heart with your spouse. Yes, it is risky, but the rewards are out of this world!