3 Keys to a Great Marriage
This is by no means a comprehensive list of what it takes to build and maintain a great marriage.
These three keys WILL go a LONG way toward having a great marriage. Try them out and let me know how it goes for you.
1. Make it your goal to out-serve your spouse. Whether you are a husband or wife, young or old, childless or with a houseful of younguns…your spouse and your marriage will thrive when you consistently strive to be the best servant in your household. I’m not talking about some twisted reverse humility where you try to show-up your spouse’s efforts by belittling and pointing to your own great work. That won’t fly. Trust me. But if you humbly make the most of every opportunity to attend to your spouse and bless her/him through intentional service – good stuff! And if you don’t believe me, I suspect it is because you have never really tried it. Green Eggs and Ham, anyone?
2. Periodically ask your spouse what you need to work on. Then work on it. Yes, this can be dangerous business, my friends! Talk about setting yourself up for some serious exposure and accountability. Risky? Yes. Worth it? You bet!!! Your spouse will appreciate you caring enough to ask for honest input (provided you show a sincere readiness to receive that input without defensiveness). And this may well be the best avenue available to you for finding the path to a better you. Just be sure you don’t follow this step with, “And while we’re on the subject, here are a few things YOU need to work on, Sweetie Pie.” If you have already taken that approach, call me, I’ll work you into my counseling schedule.
3. Be more eager to forgive than to be justified or “right.” Believe me, I have learned this valuable lesson the hard way. Being “right” is a cheap plastic trophy when your spouse is hurt, angry, and emotionally distant because of your misguided priorities and mistreatment of him/her. If you want the solid gold cup of victory in your marriage, be eager to initiate genuine resolution of conflicts by your earnest desire to forgive any wrongs and to hold your spouse in the highest regard.
So, what about the flipside of this? What are some sure-fire ways to wreck your marriage? If you send me your suggestions, you may just find them included in an upcoming post.