HopeForYourFamily

As I begin writing this blog post at 4:05 Sunday afternoon, I would love to report I am just waking up from a long, restful nap.  You know the kind I mean.  A great morning of fellowship and worship and learning at church moved into a great lunch of food and more fellowship, which then moved into some playful time at home as a family, and then all became quiet and peaceful as the whole family drifted off into deep slumber for an hour or more.  Oh, man, those are great days!

But mine veered off into a different course right around the “quiet and peaceful” bit.  My wife got in a nice little nap while my son watched a view Mario Bros videos and I worked through some final preparations for a parenting workshop I will be sharing tomorrow evening.  My need for rest finally eclipsed my need for more preparation, and I laid down my books and papers, closed my eyes, and let the Sunday afternoon drift away into quiet…

Smack!  Smack!  “Dad.”  “Dad, it’s daytime!”  “Come on, Dad, get up.”  My son wanted me to get up, so I could take him to his friend’s house.  I talked with him for a bit, and then explained that we would not be going to his friend’s house today, as we have other plans for the afternoon and evening.  “But I want to go to Nick’s house!  That’s mean, Dad!  I’m gonna tell Mom on you!!!”  I told him to go right ahead with that plan, and let me know how it goes.

As I lay in bed, thankful for the possibility of just ten minutes of quiet rest, I could hear things heating up in the living room.  I couldn’t make out the words, but my son was clearly pleading his case with his Mom with increasing frustration and desperation, and my wife was calmly holding her ground.  I’m pretty sure my wife asked him why he wanted to go to Nick’s house so badly, because the next thing I heard was a pitiful wail of:

“Because he loves me!”

I think this struck me as blogworthy, because I could so relate.  Aren’t there times when it seems nothing is going the way you want, and in the midst of your frustration and despair, nothing seems so appealing as being in the presence of one who truly loves you?  It seems to me that  the main reason the Gospel of Christ is truly “Good News” is that He came to bring us into continual relationship with Himself, His Father, and His Spirit.  He is always with us – embracing and loving us.  Always.

Thanks for the reminder, son.  Next time, could you bring it before my Sunday naptime?

Tags: family, friends, hope, the journey

Here is a link to WAFB’s video archive of my latest Parenting 101 interview, where I simultaneously share some practical wisdom about how to put the responsibility for homework back in your child’s court and drive the sound-guy crazy with my drumming on the table.  Ah, life is fun!  By the way, one of the graphics they showed on-screen had a significant typo.  Here are the key points I brought to the interview:

- Homework is the student’s responsibility, NOT the parent’s!

- Parents CANNOT control kids’ choices (about homework or anything else).

- Parents CAN control consequences.

- Keep school performance expectations reasonable.

- Provide reasonable suffering to induce motivation.

- Canceling text messaging is a great motivator for teens!

Enjoy, be at peace, and be blessed.

Tags: adolescence, freedom, parenting, personal responsibility, screamfree, teens, texting

Normally, I really hate feeling swamped.  That feeling when I seem to be so behind and scrambling to catch up, certain that it won’t really happen and someone is going to end up very frustrated or disappointed with me.  I hate that feeling!  Ironically, one of my favorite things to do when I really feel swamped is take a mini-retreat to the Bluebonnet Swamp.  Well, okay, sometimes it isn’t so much a mini-retreat as just escaping or avoiding the pressures I feel.

But that isn’t what I’m posting about today.  Whew!

As of today, I am officially feeling swamped with blessings.  And since I have this virtual platform, I thought I would share my little ray of sunshine with you.  My counseling practice is growing, giving me the opportunity to provide for my family, while helping struggling people in the process.  For a couple years or so now, I have been a part of a wonderful church and a wonderful fellowhip where I am increasingly finding freedom, joy, contentment, and purpose.  I am beginning my second year of participation in Men’s Fraternity, which has blessed my life immeasurably, along with an even bigger group of guys than last year.  I am increasingly having opportunities to share seminars with various groups, which I really love, also allowing me to provide for my family while helping and encouraging others.  I am getting my virtual classroom set up for my first semester as an online adjunct professor with Liberty University, with my course beginning on Monday.  My relationship with my wife has emerged from the doldrums we endured some months ago, and we are very much enjoying our friendship, partnership, and service in the Kingdom together.  I am about to begin offering my counseling services one day a week in the nearby community of Hammond, which is also exciting.  Let’s see – what am I missing?  I am making new, deeply meaningful friendships lately.  The wonders of online social networking technologies of various kinds have increasingly afforded me the opportunity to encourage and respond to people in places all around the globe.  God has called me out to join the fight against human trafficking, and I still have no idea what that is going to mean for me, but I believe it will be profoundly meaningful.  Have I mentioned lately how much fun and challenge it is being a parent?

So, as you can see – I’m swamped with blessings.  I much prefer it to being swamped with pressure and stress.  And I may just take my self to the Bluebonnet Swamp anyway!

Blessings to you.

Tags: coming soon..., freedom, the journey

If you are looking for an affordable opportunity to learn great parenting insights and skills in an ongoing fellowship of other parents on the growth journey, and you live in the Baton Rouge area, look no further!

Parenting By The Book

Tags: books, coming soon..., community, parenting

I am increasingly realizing that I have been terribly duped for much of my life.  My flesh has conspired with the American culture of hedonism to raise me on a steady diet of the consideration, “What do I feel like doing?”  Some regular variations include, “What would make me more comfortable?” “What would make me happy?” and “What is easiest?”  Let’s face it, a great deal of the advertising that bombards us on a daily basis is built on these kinds of questions.

And it usually starts very early.  As a parent, I have a tremendous responsibility to train my child in the reality that being led by these flesh-directed considerations will not bring him to fulfillment, joy, and freedom.  No small task, when the millions of mighty voices of our worldly culture are chanting in unison, “Have it your way!”

I am sick of being duped by this insidious lie that my flesh will lead me to contentment.  It never has, and it never will.  God, have mercy on me.  Lord, free me from this self-imposed slavery.  Spirit, lead me in the paths of righteousness.

And so – last night I decided to defy this old way of life.  I checked my schedule for the coming day, and realized I didn’t have to be in the office until late in the day.  “Yes!  A perfect morning for sleeping in!!!  My wife will head to school for the day with our son, leaving me to enjoy the peaceful slumber of an empty house.  Beautiful!” Thus spoke the old familiar voice of Comfort.  And then another voice spoke within me.  A voice more removed, and yet, somehow more intimate.  “You don’t need more sleep.  Your son does need more time with you, though.  And, haven’t you been seeking to cultivate a life of greater discipline?”

Okay, Lord, you guide my steps.  And, so I said, “Hey son.  How about if I drive you to school tomorrow?  Would that be cool?”  So this morning, I got up “early,” led my son through his morning tasks, and drove him to school.  And not that there is always an immediate, tangible reward for following the voice of God rather than the voice of Comfort, but today there was.  As we sat in the car line, waiting for his teacher to bring him to his classroom, we discovered he had his first loose tooth.  It was a wonderful moment of growth and mystery and creation and relationship.  A moment I would have missed if my lazy bum had been lying in bed, slumbering to the soothing melodies of Comfort.

Tags: character, compasses, discipline, family, freedom, manhood, parenting, personal responsibility, the journey

No, folks – I’m not peddling porn or anything like that on HopeForYourFamily!  I just wanted you to know I have begun adding pdf documents for free download on my “FREE Downloads” page.  These are primarily handouts/outlines from some of the various seminars and workshops I offer or have offered in the past.  I will likely add a few more in the near future.

I would draw your attention, in particular, to the first one I have listed – “Parenting Seminar Handout.”  This five-page handout represents a range of parenting topics, any or all of which may be included in my parenting seminar for your group.  I can offer a basic 2-hour presentation, which will include parts of this material, plus time for Q & A, up to a full 5-hour seminar or 2-day retreat, which includes all of the material and generous time for more personal interaction.

Please feel free to share this handout with any groups you feel would benefit from what God has given me to share, and call on me any time with any questions you might have regarding my seminar options.  Roger@hopeforyourfamily.com or 225-333-1582

Tags: adolescence, coming soon..., community, hope, marriage / relationships, parenting, teens, the journey

Thanks to the terrific folks at Sesame Workshop for once again sharing real life encouragement and wisdom in a way that makes good sense to our kids, and to all of us.  And thanks to my wonderful step-mother-in-law, Judy Weaver, for sharing this video with me and for doing so much to encourage so many people through the powerful medium of public television.

Tags: culture, hope, media, parenting, personal responsibility, the journey

I have heard, read, and offered many, many prayers over the course of my life thus far.  In my experience and opinion, the one offered by a boy named Samuel, at the suggestion of his mentor, is the best prayer I can offer.  I just thought I would share it with you today.  Memorizing it is actually pretty easy.  Sincerely offering it and living in it are a whole other matter, at least for me.  May this prayer offer you a pathway to tremendous growth, freedom, purpose, and joy.

“Speak, Lord.  Your servant is listening.”

Tags: hope, respect, the journey