Aug 31 2009
Thanks to Walt Mueller and CPYU for providing the link to this very helpful parental control application for your teen’s iPhone.
This just in (Sept 15): Safe Eyes Mobile is also available as an excellent protection software for iPhones.
Aug 28 2009
I got this book in the mail today. I just finished reading it. It was one hundred and two pages of the most gut wrenching glimpses of humanity I have ever taken in.
And yet, it gave me hope. Someone is making a difference. A lot of someones are making a difference. Real, soul-freeing differences in the lives of once helpless, victimized, brutalized women and children. WAY TOO MANY CHILDREN!!!
Please, for the love of life and humanity and freedom and innocence and countless thousands upon thousands of children – ORDER YOUR FREE COPY OF “FROM CONGRESS TO THE BROTHEL” RIGHT NOW!!!
Men, I am issuing you a double challenge to order and read the book, and to take the pledge of The Defenders USA and to uphold that pledge with all your might. The harsh reality is that there are demons walking this earth, disguised as men like you and me. Their cold, calloused souls are in desperate need of deliverance and redemption, but first they must be opposed by strong men of faith. Not men like you and me. No, they must be opposed by YOU AND ME, men. The men of God across this planet must rise up and man up and stand and fight against this onslaught of unspeakable wickedness.
Think I’m over the top? Fine. So long as you order the free book and read it. Then get back to me and tell me what a nutjob I am. I am FURIOUS. I am DISGUSTED. I am HOPEFUL. And I have reason for all three. I’M IN THE WAR! Will you join the fight? Would you be in the fight if your children were in the stories on these pages?
Not sure you’re ready to order the book? Okay – read my post entitled “Hell” from a few nights ago and let it sink in. Then come back to this one and click the link to order your book.
Aug 28 2009
Parenting Toward Character Goals – Installment Two:
Which person do you prefer – the considerate or inconsiderate individual? With which person are you more at ease and more likely to share openly and honestly – the one who pays attention to you and proactively thinks of things that may bless you or the one who is so wrapped up in self that you begin to wonder if they even notice you are still there?
Not exactly a tough call, is it? We all prefer spending time with considerate people. People who are willing to make the effort to notice us and reach out to us and respect our choices and sometimes even sacrifice their own preferences to honor ours. These are people who bless us. We feel filled up and lifted up and encouraged and empowered when considerate people touch our lives in some way. They add value to us and to our journey.
Inconsiderate people have the opposite effect. They tend to drain us, and may really frustrate or irritate us. Rather than eagerly anticipating our time with them, we are more likely to brace ourselves to endure our time with them.
Which camp would you like to see your child in? Again, not a tough choice, right? So, what are you doing to lead your son or daughter there?
And I can tell you right now – if you regularly cater to your child’s preferences and demands, doing your best to make the daily environment around your daughter or son just the way she/he wants it to be – you aren’t shaping a considerate individual. You are helping to create yet another self-absorbed, inconsiderate individual to join in the competitive struggle of “looking out for number one.” Let me know how that works out for you. Or, more importantly – for your son or daughter.
Am I saying you should stop doing things for your child that he/she wants and enjoys, and turn into some cold, callous parent whose aim is to prepare that child for the harshness of a world that doesn’t care? No, that’s not it. Simply this. The two most powerful ways to lead your kids toward becoming loved and cherished by others as considerate individuals are to resist the impulse to revolve the world around them and cater to their every whim, and to model consideration by practicing it in your own life. We don’t always get our way in life, and kids do well to learn this early from Mom and Dad. But this need not be a dreary fact. Help them discover the joy of willingly, proactively embracing opportunities to put others first and serve them through simple gestures and sacrifices of consideration.
Tune in next time for tips on fostering the virtue of honesty in your children.
Aug 27 2009
Aug 26 2009
This is a very compelling public service announcement from the UK. Yes, our teens need to see it. But I do, too. I have convinced my self at times that I am competent enough to do a bit of light texting while driving. It’s time to stop. I don’t want to TMSTD.
Text
My
Self
To
Death!
Or anyone else, for that matter.
Aug 25 2009
For the first installment in the series on parenting your kids toward character development, let’s begin with a virtue which has been in short supply for some time now in American culture. Ironically, the ongoing economic recession should provide the perfect context in which parents can lead our kids in cultivating this critical life skill.
Centuries ago, a man of seasoned wisdom and character penned the following words to a young man he was privileged to mentor:
“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.” (1 Timothy 5:6-7)
Well said, Paul!
We Americans live in a time and place where one of the most commonly used indicators to assess the well-being of our nation is how much stuff we are buying. “Buy more stuff! Boost the economy. Keep our nation strong. Besides, more is always better. I mean, you aren’t really content with that old stuff you’ve already got, are you? You need more. You need new and improved. Consume. Covet. Contentment will never get you ahead, and it sure won’t help our recession! Happiness waits at the Stuff-Mart. All you really need is lots more stuff.”
Thanks to the gang at VeggieTales for those last two lines from a fantastic video entitled, “Madame Blueberry.” For those with children between about 5 and 9, this will be a fun and very on-target way to help your children cultivate the character of contentment. While you’re at it, you might as well throw “King George and the Ducky” into the mix. While these two videos were intentionally created to illustrate the importance of contentment to youngsters, there are plenty of other entertainment choices that can be utilized in your character-building arsenal.
So many of the popular video/computer/online games involve a continual pursuit of accumulating more stuff – be it points or powers or coins or whatever. What a great opportunity to ask your kids how they will know when they have enough and what it feels like to continually believe they do not yet have enough! You may be amazed at the conversations this opens up with your teenager. Give it a shot. Keep at it. In fact, working hard with your teen or pre-teen now on cultivating the discipline of deep contentment can actually go a long way toward keeping them from such pitfalls as pornography, addiction, and crime.
And, despite the ages of your kids, entertainment selections need not be all about the virtue of contentment (or whichever virtue is your goal) to prove useful as a tool of engagement and growth. Pay attention to the movies and shows they are watching. Okay, important side note. I really hope you are paying attention to the movies and shows they are watching, already, because these selections are molding your children. Now, as I was saying – look for scenes, situations, or characters in the story that demonstrate the significance of living with contentment. Keep in mind, the virtue can be just as powerfully illustrated by showing its presence or its absence in a given situation or individual or group.
Books offer another excellent opportunity for developing character. Take some time to look around at a bookstore or online. Be intentional. Buy a couple of books that specifically illustrate the power of contentment at an age-appropriate level. Challenge older kids to write a book report.
You may want to begin setting the stage for Christmas early this year, by beginning to talk with your kids about working together to find someone else whose lives you want to bless with gifts this year. Give them a chance to practice a hands-on lesson in contentment, sacrifice, and service – all at the same time. And if you want to discover ways to develop other such virtues and character goals, keep checking back here for further installments in this series over the next couple of weeks.
Time to sign off. I think they’re running some great deals on Overstock.com…
Aug 24 2009
Our kids’ teachers all have learning goals and lesson plans all outlined for our children’s development in the coming months. They are going to be very intention, deliberate, and persistent in leading our kids toward growth in these areas that have been chosen to facilitate their intellectual and social development.
As a parent, have you taken time to prayerfully consider what character goals you will set for your children to work toward this school year? Isn’t their character development even more important than how well they learn algebra and Western literature and chemistry? If you haven’t set any goals for character development in your kids this year, I want to strongly urge you to do so. I would encourage you to select two primary character issues for targeted development per child this year.
As a follow-up to my August 25 Parenting 101 interview on WAFB, I will be posting a series over the next two weeks regarding setting intentional character development goals for your kids this school year. Come back regularly for practical guidance on ways to lead children and adolescents toward growth in specific areas of character, such as courage, integrity, respect for others, self-respect, personal responsibility, and servanthood.
Aug 23 2009
What is your concept of Hell? An eternal fiery inferno. Being in the grotesque presence of Satan forever. Complete separation from God for all time. There are several common Biblical and not-so Biblical concepts and descriptions of Hell.
How about this one?
You are a child who wanders across the wrong path one day and you are violently abducted and transported to some other part of the world where you begin a new “life” of being drugged, beaten, and daily forced to endure sexual assault by wealthy, flesh-hungry men up to 20, 30, 40 or more times a day, and are given only enough food, shelter, and rest to keep you alive enough to keep the customers happy. And if you don’t keep the customers happy, you will be denied even those essentials for a few days, just to teach you that you no longer have the human right to choose anything other than surrender to the will of the money-wielding monster who longs to take you, break you, and discard you for a few moments of twisted pleasure.
DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.
Sounds like Hell to me!
And human trafficking is happening in shocking numbers every day.
All around the world.
Including in various forms throughout the United States – “The land of the free and the home of the brave.”
In Louisiana.
I don’t yet know how God is going to use me in this fight, but I am answering His call. I will not stand on the sidelines, knowing innocent lives are being ravaged by demons in the flesh. I have to fight back. I am praying God will show me where He can best use my gifts to bring hope, healing, freedom, and justice in response to this unspeakable atrocity.
Here are some of the organizations I am prayerfully investigating:
http://ccatcoalition.web.aplus.net/
www.tradethemovie.com/get_involved.html
Is God calling you to join the fight against Hell on earth?
Aug 21 2009
Here is a link to the first in a five-article series from Focus on the Family regarding how to deal with kids who have been viewing porn. The articles are brief, but share some helpful perspectives. I will undoubtedly be sharing some of my own recommendations in this regard in the near future.
Aug 20 2009
As an expert in working with adolescents, people often look to me as an expert in understanding youth culture today. I do what I can to stay “up” on the key dynamics that are happening throughout “youth culture” in our country and our region. Sometimes this is fun and entertaining. At other times it is disheartening and soul-crushing. It is always interesting. I guess it is always interesting to me because people are interesting to me. And young people, adolescents in particular, are really interesting to me.
Which brings me to the point of my post.
If you have a heart and a passion for blessing teens, keeping up with “youth culture” can be a helpful pursuit. But it isn’t necessary. You read that correctly. IT ISN’T NECESSARY TO KNOW ALL THE CURRENT TEEN TRENDS TO EFFECTIVELY TOUCH, INSPIRE, AND LEAD ADOLESCENTS. So, what is necessary?
1. Compassionate Listening.
2. Loving Acceptance.
3. Non-Reactivity.
4. Confident Integrity.
5. Persistence. Persistence. Persistence.
I have seen volunteer youth workers who know nothing about texting, MySpace, Facebook, Halo 3, YouTube, or any popular music since 1973 make tremendous differences in the lives of teens. I have seen teens flock to them with respect and adoration, despite their woefully inadequate knowledge of Youth Culture Today. Why? Because they were authentic. Because they were open and honest. Because they really stood for something. And because they were passionately, persistently committed to loving these kids for who they were, where they were.
Want to gain an understanding of youth culture that will really make a difference? Start with the adolescent right there in your living room or church lobby or neighborhood. Ask genuine questions. Really listen to her answers. Show her you are really curious about HER, not “kids today.” Tell him your stories. Show him you aren’t going to freak out when he does freaky things. Let him experience your radical love for HIM, not for the latest trends and stats among his so-called peers.
And may God bless you with HDTV! (click tab above for more on HDTV)
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Dr. Roger D. Butner