HopeForYourFamily

Lately I have been noticing a few folks using the shorthand, “FTW!” on Twitter. I tried looking at the various contexts to figure out what words were being expressed by these three letters, but I just couldn’t figure it out. So, I took a risk and asked a buddy to explain. Let’s face it, admitting we don’t know something and asking for help can be a real challenge for us carriers of the Y chromosome.

My friend was very gracious about it, and explained it without giving me a hard time.  Whew!  Turns out, “FTW!” means “For The Win!” and is used to signify that someone basically sank the winning basket by doing or saying whatever you just referenced in the post.  The example he used was, “George Lucas remade ROTJ without Ewoks, FTW!!!”  To which I replied, “Thanks for the tangible example, (friend). Like, Lucas remade Ep. 1 with light-saber duel btn Jar-Jar & Darth Maul, FTW!”  To which (friend) replied, “Great job, Roger! But, to complete it, it must be clear that Darth Maul emerges as the victor!  FTW!!!”  To which I replied, “Well, (friend) – I think anyone who needs that reassurance would fail to appreciate the beauty of the comment in the 1st place!”

I hope you enjoyed that little stroll down a Star Wars inspired Twitter tangent.

My ultimate point is this: I’m wondering how often I approach life “For The Win!!!”  I definitely have a FTW! attitude sometimes, making choices with intentionality, passion, and excellence.  Sometimes, however, I totally settle for just good enough.  A tie will be fine, just don’t want to lose.  Or even worse – I don’t mind losing this one, as long as I don’t get annihilated.

I’m not saying I have to “win” or “be the best” at everything.  But am I living life each day FTW!, or just doing enough to stay out of last place in the division?  Hmmm…

When was the last time you did something in such a way that it would have been so fitting to have ended it with a loud, “FTW!”?   Just wondering.

(I chose to withhold the name of my friend on Twitter for two reasons.  One, he has his posts marked as private, and I will honor his preference.  And two, I would hate for you to change your high view of this good friend of mine, and begin seeing him as some sort of Ewok-hating maniac.  And to those who are offended by my obvious disdain for Jar-Jar Binks, well, I happen to know a great therapist!)

Tags: culture, friends, twitter

If you are married, or considering getting married, take a minute to read this terrific post from Trey Morgan.  In his typical style, he offers in just a few words some very wise insight and practical guidance.  Great stuff, Trey!  Thanks for your blog ministry.

Tags: blogging, friends, marriage / relationships

Whether or not we are aware or intentional about it, we hit where we aim.  In all of life.  We may be looking somewhere else, thinking we are aiming there, but we will always hit where we are aiming.

Where are you aiming your family time this summer?

You will be different at the end of the summer than you are at the beginning.  As will your children, your marriage, your relationships.  Whether you are intentional about it or not.  Change happens.  That’s life.  How do you want to be different at the end of this summer? How do you want your children to be different?  How do you want your relationships to be different?

What will you do to aim your self and your family at that target?

This is not about putting more pressure or burdens on you, as if you shouldn’t enjoy summertime, and it should now be all about productivity, achievement, and busyness.  It’s about being intentional with your aim.

Do you believe your kids and family need:

- more rest time

- more family work time

- less activity

- learning opportunities

- skill developing opportunities (sports, classes, etc)

- time together

- time apart

- new friendships

- etc, etc, etc

When you have thoughtfully answered these questions and decided where to aim, be sure to keep that aim in mind as you make choices about how to your family will spend time this summer.  What is the point of sending Blaine to this camp?  Why do we want Jill to get a summer job?  Why do we always do X for family vacation?  Why is our family committed to a total of 273 different activities this summer?!?  How will the kids grow from having dozens of hours of unstructured time each week with nothing but their adolescent emotional whims, iPhone, internet connection, and PS3 to guide them?  Do I have any idea where I am aiming my family?  Am I okay with that?

What might happen if I decide to be purposeful with my family aim this summer?

May you invest well in your selves, your children, and your relationships this summer!  Enjoy!

Tags: parenting

Just a quick word for you, and this word comes straight from The Word.  Whether we are talking about our economic situation, raising children, or career advancement, there is one ingredient that will do us so much good – if we will respond well to it.  But, oh, how we Americans hate it!!!  What is this much hated ingredient for growth?

SUFFERING

“…but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that our suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”  Romans 5:3-5

Tags: culture, hope, leadership, marriage / relationships, parenting

I took half an hour at lunchtime today to eat some simple fare and to feed on God’s Word.  I need to have more days like this.

I was reading through a few verses that address me as a husband in various ways.  I have read through these verses quite a few times.  I’ve spent plenty of time in the very “practical” book of James.  I have read James 1:19-20 no telling how many times before.  But I didn’t really HEAR it until today.

Oh, how I wish I could go back a few months and live by this guide every day!  Why didn’t I HEAR it then?!?  Maybe because I needed to go through the last few months of not living by it to appreciate how important it is.  I don’t know.  Anyway, if you find yourself struggling in any relationship in your life – marriage, parenting, friends, co-workers, whatever – I recommend memorizing, meditating on, and practicing these two simple verses:

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”  James 1:19-20

And with that, I will shut up and get back to my quiet business of finishing the paperwork and such that needs my attention this afternoon.

Tags: hope, marriage / relationships, parenting

I received this comment from a Facebook friend this morning:

Descartes wrote, ‘cogito, ergo sum’ (I think, therefore I am).  Roger is your motto “I blog, therefore I exist?”

I would love to shrug this off with a wisecrack and “put the guy in his place.”  But there is actually much truth in his comment.

I won’t try to speak for anyone but myself, although some of you may relate to this.  Yes, I really, really want to have something worthwhile to offer the world.  I want to know that my words make a difference for people.  I want to know that my thoughts are good thoughts – well founded and reasonable.  I want to be noticed.  I want to know that I matter – that my presence is meaningful to others.  And blogging offers a unique opportunity in this regard.

And, frankly, there is a very real part of me that craves the opportunity to share my thoughts and words in such a way that lends itself to positive feedback.  Strokes.  Affirmation.  Validation feels good, and I really enjoy receiving it.  And when you have a blog or appear on TV as an expert, you are well positioned for people to say, “Right on!  Well said.  Wish I’d have thought of that.”

But here’s the deal.  While that part of me is still very real and alive, it is diminishing.  Oh, I don’t think it will disappear anytime soon.  But it doesn’t have the same power to dictate my life as it once did.  And that feels like real growth to me.  Because it is real growth.  There is such great freedom in being able to tolerate people not liking me, or disagreeing with me, or just plain old ignoring me.  FREEDOM.

And so, yes, part of my motivation for blogging is to feel some sense of worth for my self.  And I also blog because I see so many people in such bondage in so many ways and in so many life places.  And if I have something to offer that can bring anyone closer to freedom, I’m going to offer it.  And blogging is a powerful way to do it.

By the way, if this post struck a nerve with you about blogging and your desire to make a difference, I encourage you to check out www.theobloggers.com.  Because I think the point of my post today is at the heart of their mission.  I am grateful and proud to be a TheoBlogger!

Tags: blogging

So I noticed my husband offered me a challenge in an earlier blog post to “guest post.” I will accept that challenge, good sir, because…well, you challenged me.

I think if I could blog about anything, it would be of the lessons learned in the last few years of my marriage and life. God has worked to “grow me up” through very trying times and steps of faith.

I have had to recognize and own my selfishness. I found out what a selfish person I am, and God began teaching me how we were going to get this out of my heart.  Owning it means recognition of the feeling and taking responsibility for how it plays out in my actions.  I am still working, and I am thankful for His presence and His patience.

I think I forget the valuable lessons he can teach us through those we love.  My thought typically is  “God is going to teach me through people/things that are unlovable and difficult.”  For example, things I really don’t want to do for people I don’t really have a relationship with, so that somehow in that “selfless” giving, God will be praised.

The greatest lessons and time of growth for me have been acting in love for the people I love when they hurt me or disappoint me.  These are the times when it is hardest to control your words, words that once said, can never be taken away.  The times that your soul demands you stay engaged and in control, when your flesh wants to throw up your hands and forget it, or your pride dictates your actions.  Actions that are led by what I want, not what Christ wants.

I have had to remember the word commitment. Roger and I have been through some tough, extended arguments that I grow sick of, and I have wanted to quit this constant struggle and effort.  I have sat in the middle of the room and screamed out my hurt and pain during therapy.  I have watched the face of my husband as he tried to find the words to explain the way something hurt him.

Commitment, to me, means I woke up every day and went  through the motions until it was not a struggle.  It meant accepting that I may not like my spouse in this current season, but I can still objectively appreciate (if I am really honest) things about my spouse.  It meant searching for the reason I married him.  This meant being real and looking beyond my pain at the moment to see the “lover of my youth” (SoS).  This meant I look inward to see what is going on in me that contributes to the pain.

These things have shown me who is my refuge and who I can depend on always for my eternal well-being.  I have come to a place where Christ is truly the center of my vision and in Him alone I find fulfillment.  Not my husband, not my child, not money, and not recognition.  I am thankful for the struggles and lessons I had to learn to be brought here.  I am forever grateful and humbled to see how Christ has taught me utter dependence on Him by guiding me to release my grip on earthly relationships to be the source of fulfillment.

I am at peace in my soul, knowing my true joy and fulfillment come from Christ.  I am grateful for the gift of my family, but they cannot truly make me happy or be the main source of my joy.  I am setting them up to fail in my eyes if I put them in that place.  I am responsible first and foremost for my relationship with my heavenly Father.  That is now my focus, and healing and growth will continue as long as I remain steadfast.

I am so thankful for the fruits of our struggles that I see in myself, in my husband, and in my son.  I see three hearts who are more equipped to love God more fully, who are contributing to His work, and who are growing to know Him better.  I am thankful for my immediate team He has given me for my journey.

Praise be to God for His patient and gentle teachings and for the many blessings He gives us here on earth!

Still learning and growing,

Chemaine

Tags: family, hope, marriage / relationships, personal responsibility, the journey

Get ready, folks. My wife, Chemaine, is preparing a guest post in the next day or two. Unlike her husband, who can sometimes put way too much thought and effort into saying and doing things to, frankly, impress people, my wife basically shoots straight and doesn’t mince words. And for a guy like me, this serves as a source of both great delight and great cringing.

I am grateful for her willingness to share honestly with you from her life journey, somewhat nervous about her pulling back the veil and letting you see me and my marriage more fully, and eager to read her finished product. Stay tuned…

Tags: blogging, marriage / relationships

If you have been a regular visitor of HopeForYourFamily for a while, you have likely noticed several recent changes.  I think I’ve probably finished my current updating phase, and will be putting me blog energy solely into posting on a frequent basis.  In today’s culture (especially online), it is so easy to put far more into surface than into substance.  The world of blogging has gotten pretty fun and flashy of late, but I do not want to forget my mission here at HopeForYourFamily – To glorify the Triune God by equipping and encouraging my neighbors to live their very best in all their life roles and relationships.

And I just wanted to take a moment to say thanks to some of the folks who have been instrumental in breathing new blogging life into me:

Scott “The Nametag Guy” Ginsberg – Among other things, thanks for your fantastic article on how to develop a great blog.

Brad Palmore and TheoBloggers (and others) – Thanks for beginning the Christian Blogger Awards this year.  Being a finalist really sparked new life into my site and helped me make some great new online connections.

John Dobbs – Thanks for being you online, and for being such a Blogging Barnabus!

Sarah Stirman – Thanks for adding that cool bookshelf widget to your blog.  Exactly what I’ve been looking for! 

Parkview Baptist School website – Thanks for introducing me to Bubble Share, a cool way to share photos on a blog.

Trey Morgan – Thanks for being such an encouragement to me as I continue pouring myself into my blog, hopefully for the glory of God and the blessing of our neighbors, wherever you may be.

Jimmy Callahan – Thanks for getting me started on the blogging path, for helping me so much along the way, and for upgrading my WP version recently in the midst of my blog resurgence!

Everyone who has been commenting on my posts – I am glad to see my blog is becoming more of a dynamic community, and I continue to welcome your insights, questions, challenges, stories, and words of encouragement.

Tags: blogging

If you aren’t familiar with the work and message of Dave Ramsey, well, you really need to get familiar with him.  And there is no better way to get started than by attending this free event.  “Town Hall for Hope” will be a free, nationwide telecast event where Dave will offer real hope and practical guidance for Americans during our time of serious financial challenge.  I can personally testify to the difference his recommendations and encouragement have made in my family’s finances and level of peace/stress regarding our finances.

Dave is inviting you to join him in NOT PARTICIPATING in the recession, but in fully participating in hope and forward growth. Seriously! Be a part of this free, nationwide, interactive event to share real solutions for tough economic times.

Our church is one of the host locations, and I would love to see you there at The Chapel in the Oaks at 7pm on Thursday, April 23rd.  You really will be glad you did.  Dave is engaging, passionate, wise, and great teacher and coach!  Be a part of the solution.  Be there at the Town Hall for Hope.

Tags: culture