Comments on: Busted! http://hopeforyourfamily.com/2008/08/08/busted/ Dr. Roger D. Butner - Counseling You and Your Family Through the Storms of Life Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:11:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: BigJosh80 http://hopeforyourfamily.com/2008/08/08/busted/comment-page-1/#comment-66 BigJosh80 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:53:33 +0000 http://www.hopeforyourfamily.com/2008/08/08/busted/#comment-66 Wow. Humble pie, huh? I am new daddy....my son is almost 7 months now. It's hard to know what to do sometimes. Gives me a new appreciation for systemic thinking, because I simply can't do it in my own family, and it is even more obvious to me now that I have son. I guess that is what Bateson is talking about in his "Muddle" metalogue - hard to think systemically when you're in the muddle. Hey, really appreciate your posts, so keep'em coming, because the more mistakes I learn from you, the less I have to make; thus, the better I look in my wife's and son's eyes. :) LOL. Take care. Wow. Humble pie, huh? I am new daddy….my son is almost 7 months now. It’s hard to know what to do sometimes. Gives me a new appreciation for systemic thinking, because I simply can’t do it in my own family, and it is even more obvious to me now that I have son. I guess that is what Bateson is talking about in his “Muddle” metalogue – hard to think systemically when you’re in the muddle. Hey, really appreciate your posts, so keep’em coming, because the more mistakes I learn from you, the less I have to make; thus, the better I look in my wife’s and son’s eyes. :) LOL. Take care.

]]> By: glen7831 http://hopeforyourfamily.com/2008/08/08/busted/comment-page-1/#comment-65 glen7831 Mon, 18 Aug 2008 01:51:56 +0000 http://www.hopeforyourfamily.com/2008/08/08/busted/#comment-65 First time I've read much less left a comment, but your narrative hit a cord with me, a good one. Learning how to parent a responsible, likeable child does not come with a learner's permit. The Biblical injunction to 'train a child in the path he/she should go' is an ideal missing a service manual. You discovered (with prompting) that you yourself were remiss in the training. If we all had prompting and guidance from God, from our mates, the process would be be a piece of cake. As it is, the task most often is hit or miss and trial and error. Another reason single parenthood is a unique challenge and I deeply admire those who survive it, parent and children. I am reminded of my own experiences with being a volunteer football coach and watching how young boys are subject to training that dehumanizes them: Don't cry. Don't empathize. Don't feel sorry for that unlucky guy on the other team. Be glad it was him who got hurt on that play and not you. If to excell in physical contact sports means to train our boys to become brutal and insensitive, we are NOT training a child in the way they should go. Please understand, I played the game myself. I am not advocating abolishing contact sports, other than to say we are subjecting them to competitive sports way too soon and with a way too win-at-all-costs attitude. I also wish there was as much excitement, as much parental involvement, generated over academic scholarships vs. the athletic variety. I know, in a perfect world--right? Thanks for indulging a newcomer to the blog, and may the Peace of God guide you. Glenn First time I’ve read much less left a comment, but your narrative hit a cord with me, a good one. Learning how to parent a responsible, likeable child does not come with a learner’s permit. The Biblical injunction to ‘train a child in the path he/she should go’ is an ideal missing a service manual.

You discovered (with prompting) that you yourself were remiss in the training. If we all had prompting and guidance from God, from our mates, the process would be be a piece of cake. As it is, the task most often is hit or miss and trial and error. Another reason single parenthood is a unique challenge and I deeply admire those who survive it, parent and children.

I am reminded of my own experiences with being a volunteer football coach and watching how young boys are subject to training that dehumanizes them: Don’t cry. Don’t empathize. Don’t feel sorry for that unlucky guy on the other team. Be glad it was him who got hurt on that play and not you. If to excell in physical contact sports means to train our boys to become brutal and insensitive, we are NOT training a child in the way they should go. Please understand, I played the game myself. I am not advocating abolishing contact sports, other than to say we are subjecting them to competitive sports way too soon and with a way too win-at-all-costs attitude. I also wish there was as much excitement, as much parental involvement, generated over academic scholarships vs. the athletic variety. I know, in a perfect world–right?

Thanks for indulging a newcomer to the blog, and may the Peace of God guide you.

Glenn

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